


Beyond the Limits

by DoomedKelpie



Category: Alternate Universe- Underfell (Undertale), Alternate Universe- Underswap (Undertale), Underfell - Fandom, Undertale (Video Game), underswap
Genre: Abuse, Angst, Anxiety, Blood, Depression, Emotional/Mental Abuse, Hurt/Comfort, Inter-dimensional travel, Mental Illness, Panic Attacks, Physical Abuse, Self-Harm, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-10
Updated: 2020-11-21
Packaged: 2021-03-06 05:09:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 13
Words: 28,002
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25817821
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DoomedKelpie/pseuds/DoomedKelpie
Summary: As much as Sans loves his brother, he doesn’t think he can take much more of his abuse. But when he finally decides he’s had enough, an inter-universal trip forces him to stay alive in a world completely different (and yet the same) as his own.
Comments: 60
Kudos: 90





	1. Two Worlds

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! It’s been a while since I’ve written an Undertale fic, and this is another Underfell one. I just really like Underfell. This one is going to be different than my last one, though. Instead of Underfell being a glitched version of the original Undertale, it’s just an alternate universe this time.  
> Also, this fic is meant to take place before Frisk falls into the Underground in either AU.
> 
> I hope you like it!

“SANS, YOU MISERABLE LAZYBONES, WAKE THE FUCK UP!!” 

Papyrus’s irate screaming shocked Sans out of the light sleep he had barely managed to fall into, leaving him with gasping breaths and a quickened heartbeat. He glanced quickly at the clock next to his bed and groaned. 5 am. 

“IF YOU’RE NOT OUT OF BED IN THE NEXT TEN SECONDS-”

“I'm up, Boss,” Sans responded before Papyrus could launch into a rant of threats.

It wasn’t like it mattered, anyway. Papyrus would fulfill his threats whether Sans got up or not. Hell, Sans could do everything his brother told him, and he’d still find some problem with it. Sans was used to that by now.

He forced himself out of bed and went over to one of the laundry piles on his floor. The skeleton selected his favorite turtleneck and a pair of shorts from the pile, looking them over and deciding that they seemed clean enough. They didn’t have any mustard stains, at least. Then, Sans removed the even rattier shirt and shirts he had worn to bed and replaced them with the selected clothing. Finally, he slid on his old sneakers and the collar that Papyrus had started insisting he wear a few years ago. His brother said it told everyone that Sans belonged to him, which would keep weaker monsters from trying to attack the Terrible Papyrus’s brother, but Sans was pretty sure that it was really just to embarrass him. Either way, though Sans hated it at first, he now secretly liked it. He thought it looked cool. That was pretty weird, however, so even though he complied with wearing it, he pretended that he hated it every time attention was brought to it. He may be pathetic and useless, but he wasn’t going to just accept his brother’s ownership of him so easily. 

“SANS, YOU BETTER NOT HAVE GONE BACK TO SLEEP.”

The shorter skeleton sighed.

“I’m just gettin’ dressed, Boss,” Sans called back.

He steeled himself and pushed open his bedroom door. As he stepped out, he could see Papyrus tapping his foot impatiently on the first floor, the sharp click of the metal toe sounding out like a metronome in the space between them. Sans immediately started down the stairs and tried to gauge what kind of mood his brother was in that day. The yelling wasn’t much of a clue, seeing as Papyrus yelled at him every morning, so he tried to examine the taller skeleton’s body language. Papyrus was glaring especially hard, and his shoulders were tense. The foot tapping only got faster as Sans came down the steps, and as Sans stepped onto the ground floor, he saw Papyrus clench a gloved fist at his side. Alright, his mood was pretty bad, but it could be a lot worse.

“STOP DRAGGING YOUR FEET AND GET TO YOUR POST. AND I BETTER NOT FIND YOU SLACKING OFF!!” Papyrus shouted before slamming their front door open. 

By the time Sans walked the short way to the open door, Papyrus’s long legs had carried him halfway to Grillby’s. With an irritated grumble, Sans left the house himself and locked the door behind him. Then, he slowly trudged his way to his sentry station. It was the station by the door to the ruins, and Sans still questioned why Papyrus would station him there. Sure, generally, there was very little that happened around there since it was so far from Snowdin, but it was also the first station a fallen human would come across after exiting the ruins. Sans knew that Papyrus didn’t think he’d actually be any help in capturing/killing a human. Maybe he didn’t think another human would actually fall. Maybe he thought Sans would keep any fallen human occupied long enough for him to show up, kill it, and claim the glory. Or maybe he hoped the human would kill him first, and  _ then _ he could claim the glory. It didn’t really matter.

Sans was glad for his shortcuts because they made the long walk to his station much shorter. He just had to get out of sight of the town and make sure no one else was around, and then he could just teleport right next to it. He got a secret pleasure from confusing Papyrus in how fast he got places despite being so slow, too. 

In a moment, Sans stood next to the station and went to sit down on the stool behind it. He reached into the shelf beneath it and pulled out a hidden bottle of his emergency mustard, since he hadn’t wanted to risk trying to eat breakfast before leaving the house. To his annoyance, the cold air of Snowdin had frozen the condiment solid.

“Oh, for fuck’s sake,” Sans growled along with his stomach.

With an annoyed huff, the skeleton pried the lid off of the bottle and dug out his hidden emergency spoon from the shelf as well. This was far from the first time this had happened, after all, so he was prepared. 

“Geez, I like my mustard cold, but this is ridicul _ ice _ ,” he joked to himself. “I’d definitely  _ relish _ it more if it wasn’t frozen solid. Sure hope eatin’ this stuff doesn’t  _ ketchup _ with me one day.”

Sans let out a low, raspy laugh that was swept away by the wind.

“Wow, those were bad. Pretty sure Boss would dust me for those, ha.”

He jammed the spoon into the bottle to break up the contents a bit and scooped a few spoonfuls into his mouth. The tangy and spicy flavors made him smile lightly. He really did love mustard.

After eating about half the bottle, he twisted the cap back on and hid the rest away for later. Then, he did a quick scan of the surrounding area with his eyes, tapping the spoon against the edge of the sentry station. As he had expected, absolutely nothing was going on. Nothing ever really did out here. The last human to fall into the underground had been killed a few years before he was even born, so he hardly paid the door to the ruins any mind. Sans knew that some lady was sometimes behind the door, seeing as he had spoken with her a few times, but he knew she wouldn’t come through the door. She never did. He wondered if maybe, just maybe, some monster would come by and cause some kind of problem. That would be interesting, at least. But of course, nobody came. They never did.

Soon, Sans found himself drifting off as the boredom encouraged his sleep-deprived mind to close his eyes. He shook himself awake a few times, but sleep inevitably overtook him and plunged him into darkness.

XXX

“PAPYRUS!!”

The tall skeleton looked up from what he was working on as he heard his younger brother’s typically loud voice.

“What is it, bro?” he asked.

“Dinner is done!! I called you, like, five times!” Sans huffed, hands on his hips.

“Sorry, bro. I didn’t hear ya,” Papyrus replied, standing up and wiping his hands off on a cloth.

“What are you doing in here, anyway?” Sans questioned, peeking behind his brother. “Oh! Is that the timeline-machine-thing?”

“Yep. Figured I’d actually get around to fixing it after it broke the last time,” responded the taller skeleton. 

“I wonder if any other versions of us will come to meet us again!” Sans chirped.

“Well, maybe. If I can get it working again.”

Papyrus went to follow behind his brother to exit the lab and go back into their house, inevitably facing whatever abomination the smaller skeleton had decided to call ‘tacos’ that day.

XXX

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There’s chapter 1!  
> I’ve actually already finished writing this fic, but I haven’t proofread the last few chapters yet. So, updates shouldn’t take too long. Don’t expect me to update immediately though, lol.
> 
> Thanks for reading! :3


	2. Subtraction

XXX

Papyrus wanted to kill something. Or, well, something  _ else _ . He had already dusted the monster that put him in such a bad mood. That would teach the little wretch to insult the Great and Terrible Papyrus. Despite having destroyed the source of his anger, however, the emotion was still boiling inside his skull, tumbling around like debris in a murky river. He was, currently, hoping that some idiot would try to challenge him so he had someone to fight, seeing as he was on his way to collect his lazy brother and, if he didn’t release some more of his anger before getting there, he might end up dusting Sans instead. 

Papyrus let out a short huff. Why did he have such a useless brother? Frankly, he was surprised Sans was still alive, considering his pitiful 1 HP. A child could dust him easily, especially if Sans was napping. Even when Sans was younger, Papyrus didn’t let him play with him or the other children because the not-yet-malicious roughhousing was enough to kill him. Papyrus himself had to carefully control the damage he dealt to his brother so it would hurt but cause only fractions of a point of damage. Sans was weak. The only thing that protected him was being the Terrible Papyrus’s younger brother, because nobody wanted to risk pissing off the Captain of the Royal Guard. 

Why couldn’t Sans just understand that? Why couldn’t he even  _ try _ to be stronger? Why didn’t he try to train, try to gain EXP, try to do  _ anything? _ Why was he so  _ lazy?  _ Papyrus often wondered if his brother had some kind of a death wish with all the naps he took in public. Who would leave themselves so exposed like that? It was like he was telling the world that there was free EXP just waiting to be taken. Once again, it was Papyrus who had to protect him. In addition to his own reputation, Papyrus had posted Sans at the sentry station farthest from any monster settlement to keep him away from most of the actual action. Nothing ever happened at the station by the ruins unless a human passed through, and that hadn’t happened in over 20 years. And if a human did happen to come through, he hoped his brother was at least smart enough to get him instead of just letting it kill him. 

It wasn’t like Papyrus hadn’t  _ tried _ to help his brother. He’d forced Sans to train with him a few times, but he got tired so quickly that Papyrus soon failed to see the point. He’d also tried to convince Sans to dust a few weakened monsters to increase his LV, but Sans had refused, and Papyrus had been unable to force his brother’s hand. Then, there were his ‘lessons.’ Eventually, Papyrus had decided that the only way to get Sans to listen to him and  _ survive _ was to force him. Whenever Sans screwed up, he would be punished. That’s how it had to be for him to learn. It was Kill or Be Killed, and Papyrus wasn’t going to let his useless brother get killed if he could help it. 

Unfortunately, no one appeared looking for a fight, so Papyrus ended up at Sans’s sentry station with his rage unchecked.

And, as he had expected, Papyrus found his brother asleep at his post.  _ Again _ . He felt his rage spike, and before he could even think about it, he had summoned a sharpened bone and flung it at his brother. It stuck deep into the wood of the station right in front of Sans’s face, startling the shorter skeleton awake. The pile of bones, in his surprise, managed to fall onto the ground with a light thump. 

“Holy shit!” Sans exclaimed, noticing Papyrus glaring at him a second later. “Uh, Boss, I was-!”

“NO MORE OF YOUR EXCUSES, SANS!! HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU NOT TO SLEEP AT YOUR STATION?!” Papyrus shouted, his face contorted in rage. “HAVE YOU BEEN ASLEEP ALL DAY?!”

“No, I was just restin’ my eyes for a minu-” Sans attempted to speak before being cut off by another bone being flung toward him.

Sans barely managed to step to the side and keep it from stabbing into him. Even still, it grazed his cheek, leaving a small scratch behind. It wasn’t enough to make it bleed, being a bone, but it still stung.

[-0.01 HP]

“I KNOW WHEN YOU’RE LYING, SANS, SO DON’T YOU DARE TRY IT!” Papyrus yelled, stomping over to sans and grabbing him by the wrist.

XXX

Papyrus dragged Sans all the way back to their house, with Sans struggling and hissing protests at his brother the entire way. Normally, he wouldn’t make such a fuss, knowing it would only make his punishment worse, but his fatigue made it too hard to control his own anger. He hadn’t gotten any actual sleep in days, and it was taking its toll. Even with him dozing all day, he still woke up every few minutes, before he could actually drop down into anything resembling deep sleep. He was tired and annoyed, and his brother’s tight grip on his wrist hurt. 

[-0.01 HP]

“I know how to walk on my own, you fuckin’ bastard!” Sans growled.

Papyrus only tightened his grip and scowled at him disapprovingly. Sans knew that Papyrus was silently warning him to shut up before he decided to make things worse. Sans, however, knew that Papyrus was going to be as terrible as he wanted regardless of what Sans did at that point.

After a walk that was much longer than taking one of Sans’s shortcuts, they reached their front door, which Papyrus kicked open with a slam. He shoved Sans inside before closing and locking it behind him. 

“MUST YOU EMBARRASS YOURSELF AND ME EVERY TIME YOU LEAVE THE HOUSE?!?” Papyrus scolded him. “YOU’RE JUST SHOWING THE ENTIRE UNDERGROUND WHAT A WEAKLING YOU ARE! AND THIS IS THE THIRD DAY IN A ROW THAT I’VE FOUND YOU SLEEPING ON THE JOB! HOW CAN YOU  _ POSSIBLY _ BE THIS LAZY, YOU WORTHLESS SACK OF BONES?!”

Sans glared up at his brother, sharp teeth bared in a snarl.

“I wouldn’t nap during the day if I ever actually got some  _ fuckin’ _ sleep!”

“YOU WOULD BE ABLE TO SLEEP JUST FINE IF YOU DIDN’T SLEEP THE WHOLE DAY!”

“Oh, fuck you, Papyrus!”

“I TOLD YOU NOT TO CALL ME THAT!”

“It’s your fuckin’ name!”

“I DON’T CARE! I INSTRUCTED YOU ON WHAT TO CALL ME, AND YOU WILL LISTEN!”

“FUCK YOU!”

Maybe he was digging his own grave, but it felt good to fight back, even if only verbally. 

“YOU DISRESPECTFUL LITTLE WHELP!”

Papyrus raised a hand and slapped Sans across the face, making the smaller skeleton stumble back from the force. Sans lifted his own hand up instinctively to shield himself but there wasn’t much of a point. 

[-0.1 HP]

“What have I told you to call me, Sans?”

“Fuck you.”

Papyrus picked him up by the shirt and slammed him into the wall, the crack of his head against it reminding him of the sound of Papyrus’s tapping boots. 

[-0.02 HP]

“Say it.”

“No!”

Papyrus pressed him harder into the wall.

[-0.01 HP]

“Say it, Sans.”

Sans just glared back at him again, keeping his mouth shut. Returning the glare, Papyrus dropped him to the floor and began kicking him.

[-0.02 HP]

[-0.02 HP]

[-0.05 HP]

[-0.04 HP]

[-0.05 HP]

[-0.06 HP]

Papyrus continued for a while, the metal toe of his boots threatening to crack the smaller skeleton’s bones with every strike. Sans curled in on himself to protect his ribs, but that left his head and neck more open to the attacks. Despite the minimal amounts of HP being shaved away, Papyrus knew how to make every attack as painful as possible, and he used his knowledge to its full extent. Even still, Sans kept himself from crying out, his pride not yet overcome by the pain.

“ _ Say it _ , Sans,” Papyrus commanded.

[-0.04 HP]

[-0.03 HP] 

[-0.05 HP]

“You know I can keep this going for a long time if I want to, Sans.”

[-0.04 HP]

[-0.04 HP]

[-0.07 HP]

Sans let out a tiny whimper as Papyrus kicked him right next to the old crack in his skull. Silently, he cursed the fact that Papyrus had gotten so good at controlling the damage he inflicted. Back when the beatings just started, Papyrus could only hit him a few times before stopping, lest he accidentally kill his younger brother. 

[-0.03 HP]

[-0.04 HP]

[-0.07 HP] 

He knew that his health was getting pretty low and that Papyrus would have to stop soon, but as Papyrus hit the spot next to the crack again, he couldn’t stop himself from calling out.

“Boss, stop! Please, stop!” he cried.

[-0.04 HP]

“What was that, Sans? I don’t think I heard you.”

“Boss! I’m supposed to call you Boss!”

Papyrus stopped kicking him and placed his raised boot back on the ground. The clack made him shiver. 

“Yes, and you will do so, or we’ll do this all over again,” Papyrus warned. “Do I make myself clear?”

“Y-Yes, Boss.”

“Good.”

Papyrus yanked him up again, causing another jolt of pain to shoot through Sans’s body.

[-0.01 HP]

Sans watched as Papyrus’s free hand glowed green with healing magic. He placed the hand over Sans’s chest and forced the cold magic into his soul. Sans shivered again, though he wasn’t sure if it was more due to the physical cold or the malicious intentions of his brother. 

[HP: 1/1]

“Now, you will go to your room, and you better not leave it until tomorrow morning,” threatened Papyrus. “And if I catch you sleeping at your post again, I’ll do far worse than kicking you a few times.”

Papyrus let Sans go, making him catch himself on unsteady feet. He knew he should just go up to his room like he was told, but he was still mad, and the beating certainly hadn’t calmed that feeling.

“I’m not a child!” Sans protested. “You can’t fuckin’ ground me!”

Papyrus, who had started turning away, whipped back around and leaned menacingly down in his brother’s face. 

“WHILE YOU LIVE UNDER MY ROOF, I CAN DO WHATEVER I WANT TO YOU, AND YOU WILL DO WHATEVER I TELL YOU TO, YOU UNGRATEFUL WRETCH!” Papyrus roared. “IF YOU DON’T WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A CHILD, THEN YOU SHOULDN’T ACT LIKE ONE!”

Papyrus summoned another sharp bone and used it to slash across Sans’s chest, ripping through his shirt and making bright red blood well up from his brother’s rib cage. Sans gasped painfully. 

[-0.5 HP]

“Now,” Papyrus hissed. “ _ Go. To. Your. Room. _ ”

XXX

Sans instinctively grasped a hand to his chest, the pain excruciating. He shot one final, venom-filled glare to his brother before trudging up the stairs. Each step jostled his ribs and made them feel worse, but he still stomped his feet just to annoy his brother. Once he made it to his room, he slammed the door shut as a final touch. He didn’t even bother with locking the door. If Papyrus decided to come upstairs and punish him some more, then let him.

The skeleton flopped onto his bare mattress angrily, not caring about the pain and fresh wave of blood the sudden movement caused. 

[-0.01 HP]

Glowing red, angry tears began to form at the corners of his eye sockets before streaming down his face and soaking into the mattress, along with the blood. In that moment, Sans absolutely despised his brother. Hell, at this point were they even really brothers anymore? When was the last time Papyrus had even let him call him that, or even by his name? When was the last time Papyrus actually gave a crap about him? Or pulled him into a hug? Or even just asked about his day? He wasn’t even entirely sure. It wasn’t like Papyrus had loved him one day and then suddenly hated him the next. At first, Papyrus was just snippier with him than usual. Then came the insults. Then an occasional strike when he messed something up. And eventually, that became their new norm and Papyrus slowly became less and less like the older brother Sans had known in his younger years. 

He missed Papyrus, the Papyrus in his memories; the Papyrus that loved him and cared about him. Part of him longed for those days, even though he knew they had really been even worse than now. Gaster had been more violent and cruel than Papyrus ever was on his worst days, and still… they had each other back then, at least. Now, every kick, every slap, every bone shot by his brother felt like a betrayal. Now, Sans didn’t have  _ anyone _ . He couldn’t even pretend the door lady was his friend because the one time he had mentioned something Papyrus did to him, she just laughed. Like it was a joke. 

Why did he even bother anymore? Papyrus clearly didn’t want him around, and he couldn’t fathom why Papyrus hadn’t just dusted him himself yet. 

Why  _ did _ he even bother anymore? No one liked him, not even his own brother, so it’s not like he stuck around for someone else’s sake. And he certainly didn’t do it for his own sake either. It was like he was just surviving for the sake of survival. He didn’t have any goals or aspirations, and he didn’t have any real reason to keep trying so hard for a future that would never come, a future he couldn’t even envision.  _ Why bother? _

He took a deep breath. He knew where these thoughts were going, and he had to convince himself to switch his train of thought to another track.

So, Sans rolled over onto his side and reached toward his bedside table, pulling its small drawer open and removing a sharp knife from inside. Sans had stolen it from the kitchen a few years ago, and he was sure that Papyrus had noticed, but the older skeleton had surprisingly never said anything about it. Maybe he thought Sans carried it as a last-ditch method of protecting himself. Sans didn’t really care what exactly Papyrus thought about it, though. He only cared about what the knife could do. 

With shaky hands, Sans rolled up the one of the sleeves of his ratty hoody, revealing his chipped radius and ulna beneath. He stared at them for a moment before reaching back into the drawer to take out his little first-aid kit. Opening it up, one could see that it was very simple, containing little more than a stained cloth, some bandages, and a bottle of antiseptic. Sans took out the bottle and poured some of the liquid within onto the cloth. Then, he slowly wiped it across the bony surface of his arm, making some of the relatively new chips sting a bit. Once that was done, he wiped the surface of the knife, allowing it to glint in the small amount of light that came in through the window. 

He took a deep breath before jabbing the point of the knife into his arm, twisting the blade slightly to make a small piece of bone flake off. 

[-0.01 HP]

Sans almost let out a laugh. Papyrus wasn’t the only one who knew how to control the amount of damage he did. 

[-0.01 HP]

[-0.01 HP]

[-0.01 HP]

[-0.01 HP]

Sans looked up at the ceiling as he took another breath in, deeper this time. He sat there for a second, closing his eyes as he felt the sharp little pains in his arm pulse. At this point, he remembered that he hadn’t locked the door and Papyrus could walk right on in and see him, but he didn’t care. Let him see. It wasn’t like Papyrus hadn’t done worse to him. 

Opening his eyes, Sans reached for the cloth again, pouring some more antiseptic on it. He wiped his arm down once more, this time washing away the small amount of blood weeping from the chips as he disinfected them. Then, he took out some of the bandages and ripped open their paper packages, placing one over each of his new wounds. While he was at it, he treated the gash going across his ribs, which had stopped bleeding by then. Finally, he wiped the knife clean and returned everything to its drawer. 

He breathed in again, feeling much calmer. He could do this. He could survive, even if it was just to give a huge middle finger to everyone who wanted him dead. He could do this.

Knowing that Papyrus would wake him up at the crack of dawn the next morning, Sans decided he would try to get some sleep. He rolled his sleeve back down and curled up on the mattress.

XXX

Papyrus sighed deeply as he perched gracefully on the couch, swinging one leg over the other. He was still angry, but punishing his brother had helped him calm the rage. Still, why couldn’t Sans just  _ listen _ to him? Papyrus was just trying to keep Sans from getting himself killed, and the little ingrate returned his brother’s protection with disobedience and laziness. 

How many times had he needed to save Sans’s sorry ass? First from their father, and now from whatever monsters think they can kill the Terrible Papyrus’s brother.

Papyrus growled and stood back up. He was going to go to bed.

XXX


	3. Enough

Sans jolted awake from a nightmare, gasping for breath like a dying fish. Before he registered the reality around him, heBefore he registered the reality around him, hlet out a short scream of terrorand ed and devolved into sobs. His hands scratched at his exposed ankles as he tried to remove the phantom hands that tried to drag him away. His mind was still trapped in the nightmare when the bedroom door slammed open.

“WOULD YOU BE  _ QUIET _ ?” Papyrus screeched angrily.

The smaller skeleton flinched from the noise, but since since he was still lost in his own nightmare-induced panic, he couldn’t manage to quiet himself, he couldn’t quie. He felt the invisible hands moving higher up his legs, their insidious claws digging into bone like needles, and he kicked and screamed in an attempt to get away. Despite his struggling, he only ended up backing himself into the corner his mattress was tucked into. 

“THE ENTIRE UNDERGROUND IS GOING TO HEAR YOUR DAMN SNIVELING!”

He felt a pair of more solid, rough hands grab onto his arms, keeping him from scratching at his legs. 

“STOP THIS RIGHT NOW, SANS!”

At this, Sans’s eyelights flashed up to see his brother standing over him, and it was enough for him to realize he had been asleep. It wasn’t real. The hands gripping his legs weren’t real, not anymore. But Papyrus’s hands  _ were _ real, and they were only somewhat less terrifying. 

“I-I… I’m sorry, Boss! I’m sorry!” Sans wheezed out, trying to avoid another beating. 

Papyrus glared down. Seeing the expression, Sans felt his already heavy breathing growing more frantic as he found it increasingly difficult to draw air into his non-existent lungs, and he felt his bones begin to rattle as he tried to wrench his hands out of his brother’s grasp. He wanted to get away. He  _ had _ to get away. 

“Get ahold of yourself!” Papyrus ordered, moving his hands to Sans’s shoulders and shaking him. 

But this, of course, did nothing but make his panic worse. Sans gasped. He vaguely noticed Papyrus [CHECK]ing him, and then, without warning, he suddenly felt a sharp pain across his cheekbone as Papyrus slapped him. 

[-0.01 HP]

Thus began a cycle of Sans panicking, Papyrus hitting him to get him to stop, and Sans panicking even more. His older brother mostly stuck to slapping him this time, but he had decided to try kicking him a few times since it seemed to be effective earlier. Fortunately, that hadn’t lasted long because it caused the slash across Sans’ chest to start bleeding again, wreaking more damage than the taller skeleton intended. So, Papyrus had gone back to slapping and shaking him in a vain attempt to beat him out of a panic attack. It only stopped because, eventually, Sans’s body couldn’t maintain its panicked state, and he collapsed into a curled up ball of sweat and pain as Papyrus put his hands on his hips. 

“There,” Papyrus spoke. “Now get back to sleep. I’m not letting you sleep in.”

And with that, Papyrus swept out of the room, leaving Sans alone. He wasn’t sure whether he was glad for that or not. Sure, he didn’t want Papyrus to keep hitting him or yelling at him, but couldn’t he have at least stopped to ask if Sans was okay? Or heal the HP he had taken from him? He was below half of his measly 1 HP. Again. And again, it was Papyrus’s fault. 

[HP: 0.1/1]

Sans was exhausted, but he knew he wouldn’t be able to get back to sleep. He was lucky enough to get the few hours he did, and after that whole fiasco…

He laid there, staring at the ceiling for a long time, waiting for morning to come. The longer he laid there, however, the worse he felt. He was sad, he was angry, and he was  _ tired _ . He was so damn tired of it all. Tired of Papyrus, tired of being weak, tired of living in a world of hatred and fear. 

He sat up, cringing at the way his bones protested against the movement. 

Getting out of bed, Sans decided that he wasn’t going to wait for his brother to start yelling at him to wake up. Instead, he went over to his bedroom door and finally locked it. Then, he opened his bedroom window. Papyrus would kick the door down eventually, and he wanted him to think he climbed out of it; even now, he didn’t want Papyrus to know about his shortcuts. With that done, Sans teleported to Waterfall. 

The air was thick with mist and dust, obscuring most of the already minimal light in the cavern. He had teleported to one of the rooms that no one really ventured into, so he was alone. Sans took a deep breath in and began to make his way through the tunnel that connected the cavern to the rest of Waterfall, trying his best to ignore the pain that coursed through him, and a few minutes later, he came out of the opening leading to the dump. He had to push a large pile of trash out of the way to emerge, but he didn’t care about the filth that transferred onto his hands. 

His feet sank into the muddy bottom of the shallow water as he walked. He hadn’t bothered to put his shoes on, and he silently mused that he was right to do so. After all, wet sneakers were the absolute worst, and he didn’t want that to be one of the last things he felt. And the cool water almost felt nice against his bones.

It was easy to find his way to the cliff the waterfall dropped off at. Once, there had been a fence to keep people from falling to their death, but as it fell into disrepair, no one bothered to fix it. After all, if you were stupid enough to get close enough to fall, you deserved whatever happened. Well, Sans supposed that, even if there was still a fence, it wouldn’t do much to keep him from getting close to the edge.

Sans stood there for a while, watching the water disappear into the darkness far below. The cliff went down so far that he couldn’t even see the bottom, see the spot where his life would end. Somehow, that made the idea a bit less scary. By the time he could see it, it would already be too late to back out; he wouldn’t even be able to think of teleporting before it was over. 

For a moment, he wondered what time it was. He hadn’t been gone that long, but he had spent most of the night awake. Papyrus would probably be getting up soon. He’d yell for Sans to get up, and when he didn’t get an answer, he’d get angry. He’d probably bang on the door. When he still got nothing, he’d probably kick the door in; after all, he wouldn’t let Sans get away with disrespecting him like that. Then, he’d see that the window was open and Sans was gone. Would he go looking for him? Probably, if only because he was mad that Sans hadn’t stayed in his room like he was told. Yet, he probably wouldn’t look for him for a while, thinking that Sans would come back eventually and face his punishment. 

But he wouldn’t ever be coming back. And he wasn’t going to ever get punished again. 

This was it.

Not wanting to give himself time to back out, Sans stepped forward, his foot meeting nothing but air. In a second, the water flowing around him made him lose balance, and he plummeted down into the frigid abyss. 


	4. Mirror

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, sorry I haven’t posted the next chapter yet. School just started, and I’ve been in a pile of panic and dread leading up to it haha. And now that it’s started, the homework’s already starting to pile up... ://  
> Anyway, here’s the next chapter.

After dinner, Papyrus, being the lazy skeleton that he is, decided to continue fixing the machine the next day. It was almost done anyway, and it’s not like it was going anywhere. And besides, all that effort has made him  _ bone-tired _ . Chuckling to himself about his own pun, Papyrus fell asleep on the couch while Sans got ready for his training with Alphys. 

Unknown to the two of them, however, the machine was a bit more fixed than they thought. It was fixed enough to open up a portal to another universe, yet it was still broken enough to do so without anyone actually activating it. And early the next morning, that’s exactly what it did.

With a mechanical roar, the machine came to life, and by chance, it opened up a portal in the exact right spot and time to save the life of a falling skeleton, who crashed onto the floor and went unconscious from the shorter-than-expected but still damaging fall. 

[-0.05 HP]

The sound of the machine was loud enough to shock Papyrus awake, making him sit up suddenly and almost fall off of the couch.

“Ah, crap.”

“Language, Papyrus!” Sans scolded as he burst from his bedroom.

It was a bit early for even Sans to be awake, but the machine must have woken him up as well. Hopefully, it hadn’t also awoken the other residents of Snowdin.

“Sorry, bro,” Papyrus replied as he stood up.

“Was that the timeline machine?” Sans questioned curiously, following behind Papyrus as he went to go out back.

“Sounded like it. Better check it out,” the taller skeleton responded. 

“Maybe someone came through it?” said Sans, his eyes sparkling with stars. “Wasn’t it still broken, though?”

“Hm, thought it was. Guess not?” 

The two brothers entered the room with the machine, with Papyrus throwing the door open, and immediately froze in place. Lying on the floor, unmoving, there was a short skeleton, and even from the doorway, they could tell that it was another Sans, though it was one they had never met before. They could, however, also tell that this Sans was injured pretty badly. 

Seeing this, Sans ran into the room, ducking under his brother’s arms to get a closer look at the newcomer. 

“Paps, he’s hurt!” Sans exclaimed, his tone worried. 

Papyrus went to join his brother, kneeling down. Yes, this was definitely an alternate version of Sans. He was wearing ratty, torn clothes with blood staining the front of his shirt, making the red sweater appear almost black in some patches. There was also a painful-looking crack on one side of his skull, leading down to his eye socket. That wound, at least, appeared to be old, but Papyrus still found himself cringing at seeing such a horrible injury on someone who was, essentially, his brother. He quickly did a [CHECK] on the unconscious monster, hoping that the damage wasn’t as terrible as it appeared.

[HP: 0.05/1]

Papyrus’s eyes widened, immediately catching his brother’s attention.

“What’s wrong? Is it really bad?” 

“Bro, could you go get some food from the house? Something liquid?” Papyrus requested, not wanting to tell his brother that the other him was on the brink of turning into dust.

“Oh, yeah!” Sans agreed, hopping up. “I’LL BE BACK IN TWO SECONDS!!”

And with that, Sans dashed out of the room. Papyrus, meanwhile, summoned a bit of healing magic. He was terrible at it, but he could do enough to keep the skeleton alive while Sans got some HP-restoring food.

[HP: 0.1/1]

Yep. He really sucked at healing magic.

Luckily, Sans was as fast as ever, and he returned with a bottled protein shake in less than a minute. He dashed back next to Papyrus, who started shifting the unconscious monster into a more upright position, being sure not to jostle him too hard.

“Thanks, bro.”

Once the skeleton was in a position where he wouldn’t choke on the shake, Sans gently opened his counterpart’s mouth and tipped some of the liquid into it, repeating the process after it had been swallowed. It took awhile for the other Sans to consume the entire shake, seeing as the sips had to be small and getting the unconscious monster to swallow without breathing it in was difficult, but eventually, the bottle was empty. 

[HP: 1/1]

The two brothers collectively sighed in relief as the monster’s health went back up. Papyrus set him back to lay on the floor, unsure of what would happen once the monster awoke. It didn’t take long for his brow bones to furrow as he began to stir.

XXX

Sans woke up confused, not entirely remembering what had happened. As his eyes opened to see Papyrus staring at him, however, his brain automatically jumped to the first explanation he could think of: he was supposed to wake up for work.

“Ah, Boss-!” he exclaimed, shrinking back a bit.

The movement instantly reminded him of his injured ribs and forced him to become slightly more alert. Sans closed his eyes for a second with a sharp hiss. Then, he looked back at Papyrus, noticing that something was off about his brother.  _ Very  _ off.

Papyrus was wearing an orange hoodie, for starters. He didn’t think Papyrus even  _ owned _ a hoodie of any sort, and he doubted his brother would be caught dead wearing such a ‘sloppy’ article of clothing. And his expression was one Sans hadn’t seen in a long,  _ long _ time. It almost looked like he was concerned, at least a little bit? 

“B-Boss, what…,” Sans cut himself off as he noticed that there was a third person in the room with them.

The other figure was a short skeleton in blue standing next to Papyrus, and if he didn’t know any better, Sans would think he was looking into a mirror. But, no, that was definitely another monster standing in front of him, not just a reflection.  _ What in the world was going on? _

Sans felt panic building in his chest again as he came to the realization that something was so  _ incredibly  _ wrong. 

“HEY, ARE YOU OKAY?!”

The sudden screech made Sans flinch away again, and without thinking, he jumped up and got into a defensive position, ignoring the protests of his ribs once again. Better alive and in pain than dead.  _ Or was it? _

“Oh boy, you have no idea what’s going on, do ya?” Papyrus asked him. “Don’t worry, you’re safe here. Me and my bro aren’t gonna hurt ya.”

Sans knew his breathing was speeding up again, but he also knew that he couldn’t afford to have a full-blown panic attack right now. If that happened, he was as good as dead. Or at least, he thought he was as good as dead.

_ Dead. _

And then, Sans remembered what he had done. Or, tried to do. If he was still here, that meant he’d failed somehow, right? He put a hand to his mouth as that harsh realization crashed over him.  _ He’d actually tried to off himself. _

“Hey, hey, it’s okay! We can explain what’s going on!” the other him spoke, holding his hands up in a placating gesture. “We’re really not going to hurt you!”

The other him took a step closer, making Sans light up his one eye with a bright, red glow, hoping it was enough to tell the monster to back off.

He couldn’t breath. 

“Hey, bro, maybe give him some space?”

Sans started picking at the bones of his hand, not even noticing that he was doing it.

“Oh! Yeah.”

The two other skeletons backed up a bit, with Papyrus shifting slightly in front of his brother, protecting him just in case something happened.  _ Papyrus wouldn’t do something like that. Not anymore. _

Sans, meanwhile, couldn’t force himself to calm down, but thankfully, the two of them stayed away from him while the panic attack ran its course. During his panicking, Sans tried to teleport away, but he found that he didn’t have enough magic to do so, effectively cutting off his only method of escape. He knew that he had to stop, had to calm down and defend himself, but the panicking was out of his control. It did, however, help that the other two kept their word about not hurting him; at least, they weren’t hurting him  _ yet _ . 

XXX

Papyrus waited until the alternate version of his brother had calmed down a bit before even attempting to explain what was going on. From the looks of it, he had been in a bad situation before being accidentally teleported to their world. Besides, Papyrus remembered how badly he and Sans had freaked out when they first found out about the alternate universes and met different versions of themselves. Trying to explain it while the other skeleton was already in the middle of a panic attack wouldn’t even be productive, and it would likely just exacerbate it.

But, of course, he couldn’t panic forever, so the monster’s breathing eventually evened out into something resembling the normal pattern. He was still tense and shaking a bit, but that was to be expected. 

“Hey, you okay now, little buddy?” Papyrus asked gently, trying to ascertain if the other Sans was present enough to have a conversation.

The other monster’s eye lights focused on him, two small, stuttering pinpricks in a deep sea of black.

“What… Who…,” he stumbled over his words before shaking himself. “What in the actual  _ fuck _ is goin’ on?!”

Papyrus saw his brother cringe at the rude language out of the corner of his eye, but Sans didn’t say anything given the circumstances. 

“Ah, well…,” Papyrus started. “You’ve heard of alternate universes before, right? At least theoretically?”

“...  _ Hah?! _ ”

“Welp, that’s where you are right now. An alternate universe,” the taller skeleton continued. “My bro over there is this universe’s version of you, and I’m this universe's version of your bro.”

The other Sans just stared at him with wide eyes for a while before his expression shifted slightly.

“Oh, I get it,” he spoke in realization. “This is all some fucked up hallucination I’ve come up with before I die.”

Papyrus blinked.

“Nope, you’re not hallucinating,” he told him. “And you’re not dying. Not anymore, at least, since we healed you. [CHECK] your stats, if you want.”

He saw the monster do so, his expression growing confused again.

[HP: 1/1]

“Wha…,” he uttered in disbelief. “This is some kind of joke, then, right?”

“Nope.”

The other Sans threw his hands out to the sides. He appeared to be getting angry, but they were shaking. 

“How in the fuck would I even end up in a whole other universe?!”

“That,” Papyrus said, pointing at the timeline machine. “I was trying to fix it, and it turned itself on somehow.”

The other Sans looked behind him, staring at the machine. Papyrus silently noted that it was broken again. The smaller skeleton remained silent, apparently trying to make the situation make sense.

“Look, I get this is a lot to take in and it’s kinda hard to accept,” said Papyrus. “But if this wasn’t a different universe, how would my bro be standing here? Ya ever seen a skeleton who looks just like you before?” 

“... N-No… But just ‘cuz I haven’t seen one doesn’t mean there isn’t one.”

“How many skeletons have ya seen in your world?” Papyrus asked. “Right now, it’s just you and your bro, right?”

Papyrus knew that, potentially, he could be wrong. In another universe, there very well could be plenty of skeletons, and perhaps, some might even look similar to Sans. Still, that hadn’t been the case in any other universe they interacted with, and Papyrus wanted this version of his brother to accept where he was as soon as possible, so he made an assumption.

The other Sans put a hand back to his mouth again, staring at his mirror image.

“Holy fuckin’ shit…”

“HELLO!” Sans greeted cheerfully, taking the look as an invitation to jump into the conversation. “Paps is telling the truth, you know! I’m you!”

Sans came closer to the other monster, who then, of course, backed away in response.

“So, I’m Sans, but since we’re the same person, that gets kind of confusing!” he continued. “Usually when this stuff happens, people call me Blue! It’s short for Blueberry, so it’s like a nickname of a nickname! Oh, we’re gonna have to come up with a nickname for you, too!”

Every time Sans got closer, the other would back away more. Papyrus sighed. 

“Hey, bro, personal space, remember?”

“Oops! Sorry!” 

Blue took a few steps back himself, giving the other skeleton more space. 

“Anyway, your clothes look like they need to be fixed, and we have some extra stuff you can wear, so how ‘bout we go back into the house?” Papyrus suggested, attempting to make the situation just a bit less tense.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And the AUs finally meet...


	5. Disbelief

Sans, still not really believing what was going on, reluctantly followed the other skeletons into their house. He didn’t trust them, of course he didn’t, but what else was he supposed to do? And if this did turn out to be some huge, out-of-character joke by Boss, well, it was far from the worst he had done to him. 

Thus, despite being told he was in an alternate universe, he was caught by surprise when he entered the house. For the most part, everything looked the same as his own house. The same furniture was in the same place, and as far as he could tell from a glance, the house had the same layout. However, the colors were all wrong. A lot of things were opposite in color, and just about everything was brighter, cleaner. Boss had always insisted on having a clean house, but even he couldn’t get out the years of dust that tainted everything in the underground. Yet, this house looked like it had never so much as had the wind blow someone’s remains in through the door. There was no way that anyone could make a joke  _ this _ complex, right? Not even Boss would be able to replicate their house with brighter colors like this. 

Holy shit.

“I’m guessing it looks different than in your world, huh?” the strange Papyrus asked as he noticed him freeze again. 

Papyrus disappeared for a moment before reappearing, this time holding a small bundle of clothing. 

“We keep a few extra outfits for situations like this,” he explained. “Ya look like ya like red, so.”

The clothing was held out to him, but Sans didn’t take it. He didn’t know why this person who was supposedly his brother in another world was being nice to him. No one in his world kept spare clothing for other people. Hell, most monsters were lucky to have more than one outfit for themselves.

“OH! I JUST HAD AN IDEA!”

The other Sans suddenly shouted, snapping him out of his thoughts.

“Since I’m Blue, you can be Red!” he exclaimed excitedly. “That way, we’ll know who’s who!”

Sans just blinked at him. Was this really an alternate version of himself? He didn’t think he’d ever been that cheerful-looking, even when he was a babybones. 

“Good idea, bro.”

‘Blue’ grinned at him widely. Yeah, there was no way this was supposed to be him. 

“Well, I’m gonna make some breakfast tacos!” Blue shouted. “Paps, you should help him with the first-aid kit!”

And with that, the energetic skeleton dashed away, presumably to the kitchen.

“Ah, my bro’s right. Looks like that nasty cut’s still bleeding a bit,” Papyrus mused. “Come on.”

Papyrus grabbed his hand and teleported the both of them into the bathroom. Sans ripped his hand out of the taller skeleton’s grip and took a few steps back, though he couldn’t get very far in the small room. He mentally cursed himself as he realized he was revealing how weak he was to monsters who were, essentially, strangers. Trying to make his facial expression look more neutral, he watched as Papyrus dug beneath the sink, pulling out the first-aid kit.

“Here we go. You're gonna have to take off your shirt so I can bandage your chest,” he said.

At that, Sans’s eye sockets widened. No one else ever helped him treat his wounds. And if he had to take off his shirt, this Papyrus would see the chips and scars on his arms. 

“... I can do it myself,” he said finally. 

“Hm, okay then. I’ll just leave this stuff here, and you can get all bandaged and changed,” Papyrus spoke. “If ya want to take a shower, we keep towels under the sink, too.” 

Sans stared at him again, confused and suspicious. This monster was definitely being  _ way _ too nice. 

“Me and my bro will be downstairs. I’m guessing ya know where that is since ya technically live here?”

When Sans only responded with silence yet again, Papyrus shrugged and teleported out of the room. He shrugged his hoodie off and set it off to the side, before glancing down at his sweater. He hadn’t really had an opportunity to assess the damage to it, being more concerned about the injury beneath. It was likely ruined, with the slash going across practically the entire front and patches of dried and fresh blood soaking it. He sighed as he pulled it over his head. It had been his favorite, after all.

The bandages across his chest had long-since bled through, and where the blood was still dry, they stuck to his bones a bit. Pulling it off certainly wouldn’t help the wound stop bleeding, but he figured it didn’t matter too much, since he had apparently been healed. 

Sans opened up the first-aid kit to see if there was something he could use to clean the dried blood off his ribs. He found some antiseptic wipes and ripped one open. It burned a lot more than the chips on his arm, but it wasn’t as bad as when he had treated the wound earlier. 

It didn’t take long to re-bandage the wound. Sans threw away the old bandage and wipe into a nearby trash bin, finding it in the same spot as it was in his own house. Then, he went to inspect the clothing that was handed to him. It was a simple red t-shirt and a pair of black shorts similar to the ones he was already wearing, though these ones weren’t fraying at the bottoms. The skeleton slid off his own shorts and put the borrowed clothing on. The t-shirt had short sleeves, so he put his hoodie back on over it. 

Not knowing what else to do with them, Sans scooped up his own clothes, intending to leave the bathroom, but he paused. 

“I really can’t believe any of this is real,” he sighed to himself instead. 

Less than two hours ago, he had been prepared to kill himself. He had actually  _ tried _ to kill himself. And now, he was still alive but in another universe because some broken machine had just so happened to [SAVE] him. He wondered if he should still go through with it. After all, it wouldn’t be hard, and when he got back home, Boss was sure to dust him anyway.

Actually,  _ would _ he be able to get back home? The strange Papyrus and other him seemed to be used to this kind of thing, but there didn’t seem to be even more of them running around, so they must have gone home, right? He still didn’t know for sure, though. But did he even want to go home at all? Surely, whatever way Boss chose to dust him would hurt a lot more than killing himself. And if Boss chose  _ not _ to dust him… he didn’t want to go back to that. It’s not like he could stay in this strange world forever, though, and he doubted anyone, including himself, would want him staying here for too long, anyway.

It sucked, but it would probably be best if he just killed himself. He didn’t want to give up like that, but he really didn’t think he could keep going like this. 

XXX

Papyrus teleported onto the couch, catching his brother’s attention.

“Did you help him bandage his wound?” Sans questioned.

“Said he wanted to do it himself.”

“You aren’t just being lazy, are you?”

“I swear I’m not, bro.”

“Well, okay then,” Sans accepted. “I wonder what happened to him.”

“No idea, bro. Looks like an attack, though.”

“Well, I sure hope not!”

While they waited for the other skeleton to come out of the bathroom, Sans continued making breakfast and Papyrus continued to sit on the couch. Just as Papyrus was about to drift off to sleep, however, he heard the bathroom door creak open. Red walked out of the bathroom with his old clothes balled up in his hands, looking like he wasn’t sure what he was supposed to do with them. Blue, zooming out of the kitchen, grabbed the clothes before either of them saw him coming. 

“I’m going to throw these in the wash so we can maybe get the stains out!” he explained, already on his way to the laundry room. 

Red didn’t flinch this time, though he clearly looked shocked. Papyrus inwardly chuckled, knowing that alternate versions of them often had to get used to his brother’s over-the-top energy. He raised a hand up in greeting.

“Hey, there.”

Red shifted his shocked gaze toward him.

“This really is… an alternate universe?”

“Yep.”

“So the blue guy is supposed to be me?”

“Yep.”

“And you’re…”

“An alternate version of your bro.”

“Fuckin’  _ Hell _ .”

“Yeah, it’s pretty crazy. Neat, though.”

“How the…” 

Papyrus shrugged. 

Red just stared at him for a while again before continuing.

“... What do you want from me?” he muttered, clenching his hands at his sides.

“Hm?”

“You’re bein’  _ way _ too nice,” Red explained, a slight growl in his tone. 

“Well, how else should we act when an injured version of Sans shows up?” Papyrus replied. “Plus, it’s kinda my fault that the machine pulled ya out of your universe. Didn’t mean to do that, by the way.”

Red seemed to be further confused by that answer, but he didn’t comment on it.

“... Can your machine send people back?” he asked after a pause. 

“Yeah. It looked broken again, though, so I’ll have to fix it.”

Red’s expression shifted again, now looking rather blank, and Papyrus couldn’t tell what he was feeling. Relieved, maybe? 

“So, what happened, anyway?” Papyrus asked. “That looked like a pretty nasty cut.”

This time, when Red’s expression shifted, Papyrus could tell exactly what he was feeling: anger, and a little fear.

“That’s none of your  _ fuckin’ _ business,” Red growled, now glaring.

Papyrus held up his hands.

“Hey, that’s cool. Ya don’t gotta tell me.”

This, again, seemed to catch Red off-guard, as he had clearly been expecting a different response. He didn’t really have time to think about it, though, as Blue dashed back into the room and then into the kitchen. They heard Blue clatter a few things around for a second before shouting.

“MWEHEHEHEHEH! THE TACOS ARE DONE!!” 

Blue hopped into the living room.

“Red, you  _ absolutely _ must try my tacos! They’re my greatest batch yet, if I do say so myself!” he spoke loudly.

“Gah!” Red shouted in response, surprised when Blue grabbed his arm to pull him into the kitchen. 

Papyrus slowly got up to follow them, seeing Blue push Red into a seat at the table. 

XXX

As he was pushed into a chair, Sans felt his ribs protest again, but he had started getting used to the pain caused by the wound. Within seconds, Blue plopped a plate in front of him with a clink, and he was somewhat surprised the plate didn’t break from the force. Blue set the other plates down with similar enthusiasm as Papyrus settled down into one of the other chairs. Once the plates were on the table, Sans found Blue staring at him from his seat giddily.

“Try them!” 

Still finding the entire situation strange, Sans hesitated. 

“... You didn’t poison them, did you?” he asked, suspicious. 

There were some monsters who preferred to lull others into a false sense of comfort before killing them, and there were plenty who liked to use poison. It seemed like this world was perhaps pretty different from his own, and maybe monsters didn’t just poison people, but how would he know? He hadn’t even been outside or seen anyone other than these two in the short time he had been here. 

“WHAT?! Of course not!” Blue denied with a chuckle, apparently thinking it was a joke. 

Sans sighed and picked up the taco. Whatever. If it was poisoned, he’d just die a little sooner than intended, so who cared? 

He bit into it. It honestly wasn’t that great, with the meat inside being kind of burned and the strange aftertaste, but it was far from the worst thing he’d eaten. He noticed that the strange Papyrus had poured honey all over his. 

“Paps! You’re going to drown out all the flavor if you put that much on it!” Blue scolded lightly. “Are you  _ trying  _ to ruin my cooking?”

“Come on, bro, I can’t  _ bee _ lieve you’d think I’d do such a thing,” Papyrus said with a grin.

Sans was pretty sure that Papyrus just made a pun. Boss  _ hated _ puns. 

“Aaaaw, Papyrus, again with the puns!”

Papyrus chuckled, his brother’s reaction seeming to make him even more amused. 

Boss would have hit him for a pun like that. 

Blue rolled his eyes before redirecting his attention back to Sans.

“So, do you like my tacos?” he asked. “This time, I tried adding some strawberry yogurt since Paps thinks they’re too spicy!”

Well, that would probably explain the strange aftertaste. Blue stared at him with bright eyes, and as much as he didn’t trust these two, he discovered that he didn’t want to make the peppy monster sad.

“Uh… yeah.”

“YAY! I’m glad you like it!” Blue celebrated. “I should make a note later so I remember to add it next time!”

Sans heard Papyrus groan quietly, and he got the sense that the skeleton wasn’t a big fan of his brother’s cooking. 

With that, Blue started chattering on, mostly about a bunch of stuff that Sans didn’t really understand, so he ended up tuning out the conversation and finishing his taco. He was, however, brought back into it when Blue directed a question at him.

“So, what’s it like in your universe?!” he asked excitedly. “Usually, the other Sanses are more like Papyrus, and the other Papyruses are more like me!”

Sans blinked at him, not really sure what to say. He hadn’t actually been in this universe that long, so he wasn’t sure just how different their worlds were.

“Fuck if I know,” he said with a shrug.

Blue’s smile faltered for a second.

“You seem to curse a lot. Does everyone in your world do that?”

Sans looked at him, confused about why the blue skeleton would even mention that.

“Uh… Yeah?” he answered. “What, you don’t do that here?”

“Well, I certainly don’t!” Blue told him. “Paps does sometimes, though, but you seem to do it more than he does.”

Sans really didn’t get what the big deal was. From his perspective, he didn’t curse any more than the average monster. 

“Actually, you look like you dress kinda like Paps, since you’re wearing a hoodie!” Blue continued. “So I guess that means your brother is probably like me!”

Sans took a long, observant look at Blue. He took in his sparkling eyes, smiling face, and generally cheerful disposition. 

“... Yeah, I doubt you’re anything like Boss…,” he said eventually.

It seemed like the only thing Blue and Boss had in common was how loud they are. Sans had only been in this world for a few hours, not even conscious the whole time, and he could already tell that this version of him wasn’t like Boss, even just because he was physically too small to be. Well, when he thought of it, the scolding of his brother was similar, but it didn’t appear to be malicious or violent, so it didn’t seem to be the same thing at all.

“Really? What’s your brother like, then?” 

What was Boss like? Sans cringed as he remembered the door lady laughing at him, the people who cheered Boss on when he beat him in public, Boss’s own glaring face. After a much-longer-than-needed pause, he shrugged. He wasn’t going to tell them just so they could make fun of him for being weak. 

Blue looked like he wanted to press the issue, but his brother cut him off.

“Hey, bro, why don’t we call in from work today?” Papyrus suggested. “That way, we can show him around or something.”

“This isn’t just some scheme to get out of work, is it?” Blue asked, his eyes narrowed in suspicion. 

At this, Sans realized that the expression was, in fact, similar to the one Boss made when he was accusing him of something. Still, it paled in comparison to the glares Boss directed at him. Maybe this universe was somehow opposite but also less shitty? Or maybe these two really were going to kill him, and they were just really good actors. 

“When have I ever done something like that?” Papyrus returned, pretending to be offended. 

“Papyrus! You always do that!”

“Haha, yeah, you’re right, bro,” he laughed. “But I  _ swear _ I’m not doing that this time.”

Blue studied his brother closely, trying to determine if he was lying or not. 

“Okay, fine!” Blue agreed finally. “But only because I don’t want to leave an injured monster alone all day! We’re not making a habit of it!”

“Gotcha.”

“I’m serious, Papyrus.”

“Yeah, I heard ya.”

“Papyrus, you’re using the same tone you use as when I tell you to pick up your sock.”

Sans didn’t know what to make of this exchange. The two brothers appeared to be arguing, but neither one seemed truly mad; if anything, they seemed to be amused by it. Sans could remember the one time he’d accidentally dropped one of his socks in the living room. That had been before Boss was this bad, so he’d only gotten a little slap before he’d been made to pick it up. 

This universe really was strange.

“Alright, I’ll go call Alphys and tell her we’re taking the day off!” said Blue. “Paps, can you find one of my old pairs of shoes for him?”

Right, he forgot he wasn’t wearing shoes. 

“Ah, didn’t even notice ya weren’t wearing any,” Papyrus spoke lazily. “That a thing in your universe?”

“... I just forgot to put them on,” Sans responded gruffly. 

“Forgot? So, I’m guessing ya weren’t at home when the machine grabbed ya, huh?” 

“No.” 

“Hm. Were there other people around? ‘Cuz that might be kinda hard to explain when ya get back.”

“No.” 

“Hm, alright then,” Papyrus put his hands in his pockets, pausing briefly before continuing. “How’d ya get hurt, then?”

Sans froze, remembering Boss’s face again.

“Cause it happened a few hours before that,” he answered with a slight growl.

“It was bleeding, though.”

“It reopened.”

“And ya were still wearing your ripped-up shirt.”’

“So, what?!” Sans snarled, baring his teeth a bit.

He didn’t like how nosy this Papyrus was being. Whenever Boss asked him questions like this, it meant that he was trying to get Sans to admit to something, which would inevitably lead to another beating. Who cared whether he changed his damn shirt or not?

Papyrus shrugged. 

“Just thought it was a bit weird is all. No need to get  _ torn up _ about it,” he answered nonchalantly.

Sans really didn’t understand this Papyrus. He’d already done at least ten things that would’ve angered Boss, and yet,  _ this _ Papyrus just seemed to shrug it off. He could sort-of understand that if Blue was supposed to be like Boss, but even with the few shallow similarities, Blue hadn’t gotten angry at him either. 

“Anyway, be back in a sec.”

Once again, Papyrus teleported away and returned a few moments later with a pair of shoes. They were a pair of grey boots similar to the ones he used to wear when he was a babybones, but they were larger. 

“Sans outgrew these a while ago, but they’re not that much smaller than what he wears now, and ya seem to be a teeny bit smaller than him, so they should work,” Papyrus told him, handing him the boots. 

Red took the boots, mostly because he didn’t want to have this Papyrus staring at him while he waited for him to take them. By the time he had done so, Blue was skipping back into the kitchen. 

“Alphys said it was okay!” announced Blue. “She said she wants to meet Red before he leaves, though, since she likes sparring with the other versions of us! I’m not so sure about the sparring part since Red’s injured, but we should definitely bring him to meet her!”

Sans felt a sense of familiarity at the mention of sparring, but from the way Blue talked about it, he made it sound like the sparring was optional. In his world, something like that would have been considered a challenge, and declining it would tell everyone that he was a coward. Regardless, whether they would be sparring or not, Sans wasn’t too keen on meeting up with this world’s Alphys. His universe’s Alphys was a madwoman, and during the short time he worked at the lab, he’d constantly had to avoid being experimented on by her. He shuddered just thinking about the time he woke up from a nap to see her standing over him with a surgical saw. That had been one of many times he was glad he could teleport. 


	6. Grand Tour

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for not posting the next chapter ‘til now.  
> Frankly, I just kinda hate uploading stuff, lol. Even though it’s way easier than actually writing stuff.
> 
> Even if it takes me a while to update, I’m not gonna abandon this Fic ‘cuz it’s already done. I just have to proofread the chapters before uploading them. So, yeah, ya’ll don’t have to worry about that lol.

Papyrus, once again, wanted to kill something. When he’d gone to wake up his brother that morning, he’d found the door locked and, once he’d kicked the door down, the window left open. Sans had decided to disobey him yet again. Papyrus assumed that Sans had decided that, if he couldn’t do whatever he wanted while living under his brother’s roof, he would run away. It wasn’t the first time, and Sans always came back within a few days. He, after all, couldn’t actually keep himself alive without Papyrus’s help. 

Papyrus would be prepared to punish him whenever it was that the lazy idiot remembered that.

In the meantime, however, Papyrus had no one to vent his anger on. Or, he didn’t until he came across a monster trying to rob someone. 

Papyrus grinned maliciously. This would do for now.

XXX

Papyrus still wasn’t entirely sure what to make of Red. 

The little skeleton would go from panicking to silent to angry and back again so quickly that he had a bit of a hard time keeping up with it. Granted, he’d only really known the guy for a few hours, and Papyrus had kind of dropped a bomb on him by explaining that alternate universes were real, but still. Red didn’t seem to be afraid of what the existence of different universes meant as much as he was scared of him and Sans. 

Maybe that had something to do with his injury? After all, victims of an attack could be jumpy, especially when the victim was a monster with only 1 HP. He had thought he was dying, and he pretty much was for a minute there, so that was probably a pretty  _ bone-rattling _ experience.

It was also a bit weird that he called his brother ‘Boss,’ though. At first, he didn’t know who Red had been referring to when he said it, but he quickly figured out it was directed toward him, even after Red had been slightly more alert. That could really only mean that Red had mistaken him for his brother. Something about the nickname, though, just made Papyrus feel uncomfortable. He certainly couldn’t imagine Sans calling  _ him _ that. Maybe Red’s brother had a higher position in his world, though.

But still… he just had a bad feeling about this whole thing. Red’s clothes, beyond the damage and blood, looked very old and worn. And there was that crack in his skull. It took a very specific intention and skill in fighting to deal damage like that to a 1 HP monster without killing them. Plus, he was pretty sure that Red had been attacked soon before coming to their universe. A wound like the one going across his chest didn’t happen accidentally. Red claimed it had happened a few hours beforehand and reopened, but then why hadn’t he changed his clothes? Or, if he was too hurt to do it himself, why hadn’t anyone helped him? And why would he have apparently not been home when his HP was so low that he would have turned to dust if he so much as tripped? Had Red been too hurt to get help after he had been attacked? Had he just been lying somewhere, waiting to die? 

Papyrus didn’t want something like that to happen to any monster, let alone a version of his brother. 

Well, maybe it wasn’t such a bad thing that the machine had malfunctioned, then. If it hadn’t, Red would probably be dead by now. The smaller skeleton could heal while Papyrus fixed the machine, and when he went back to his own universe, he could tell their version of the guard about what happened. 

For now, though, they were going to show Red around their version of the Underground.

XXX

“And this is my sentry station! Paps helped me build it!” Blue exclaimed as he pointed toward the cardboard structure.

This little tour of the underground was, to put it simply, confusing. Sans had expected everything to be generally the same, at least layout-wise, but that couldn’t be farther from the reality of it. It seemed like everything was flipped into a mirror image, at least in location. The buildings were mostly the same, but swapped around. Instead of going left to get to the ruins’ door, they had to go right. Waterfall was to the left now. Grillby’s, however, wasn’t Grillby’s at all. Here, it was Muffet’s. In his world, he hadn’t ever even met Muffet, though he had heard of her, given the small size of the Underground. He wondered where Grillby was, but he wasn’t sure if he should ask. 

On top of the layout flip, though, Red couldn’t ignore how different the world was. Everything and everyone was so much brighter, so much happier. Nobody glared at them as they passed or flinched away from this Papyrus’s gaze. There wasn’t any dust swirling in the wind like snow or collecting in corners or being shaken out of someone’s clothes. Here, people waved and smiled and talked and laughed and it was all so incomprehensibly different that Sans wasn’t even really sure what to make of it. He wondered if his own world had been like this once, but it’s not like anyone here could answer him.

He really couldn’t deny that this was an alternate universe. 

What would things have been like if his own universe was more like this one? If everything wasn’t so horrible and scary all the time, would Boss be more like this universe’s Papyrus? Or, more like Blue, maybe? Would they have been happy? Would he still feel this way?

It didn’t matter. This world wasn’t his, and his world would never be like this. His own brother would never be like either of these two. It was far too late for anything to be different.

“Red?”

With a start, Sans realized he had been spacing out for a while, and Blue had apparently been talking.

“You feeling okay there, buddy?”

“If your injury is bothering you, we can take a break!”

Sans blinked. This world really was so very different.

“I’m fine,” he grunted. “This is all just… pretty weird.”

“Yeah, it takes some getting used to,” Papyrus agreed. “Me and my bro freaked when we found out about the whole multiverse thing.” 

Red considered asking some questions. He was, after all, a curious person, even if he wasn’t usually motivated enough to actually seek the answers to his wonderings. And this was a huge deal. Like, a  _ really _ huge deal. Who wouldn’t have questions after accidentally ending up in a whole other universe, especially when they hadn’t even known it was possible? It didn’t matter if his questions were answered or not, but if it didn’t matter, it wouldn’t really hurt to ask, would it?

Plus, it seemed like these two would answer his questions rather than hit him for asking. 

“How’d you find out about it anyway? Someone else just kind of show up like I did?” he asked finally.

“Hm, sorta. The first time I fixed up that machine, I wasn’t really sure what it did. When it opened a portal, I thought it was just to another part of our own universe,” Papyrus responded. “Turns out, nope. So, I was kinda the person who just showed up, I guess.”

“And I had no idea where he went!” Blue chimed in. “I didn’t believe him at first, either, until he brought me along to the universe he visited.”

“So, do you go universe hoppin’ a lot, then?” Red questioned. 

“Hm, not too much. Sometimes we get visitors here, though,” replied Papyrus. 

“Hm.”

Red looked down toward his feet, at the clean, white snow surrounding them. 

“So, now that you’ve seen some more of our world, can you tell us what it’s like in your universe?” Blue asked excitedly. 

Sans wasn’t sure how much or what he should say. By now, he had realized that there were some pretty big differences between their universes, but he didn’t know if he should actually mention those. What, was he supposed to tell these two that his world was defined by ‘Kill or Be Killed’? Should he tell them about the dust, about the fighting, the anger, the malice? Should he tell them about his brother? 

In the end, he shrugged.

“Everythin’s all flipped around, I guess,” he answered. “And we have Grillby’s instead of Muffet’s.”

“Oh, yeah! Most of the other universes we’ve contacted are like that!” Blue responded. “I’ve never met Grillby in our universe, but he seems pretty cool in the other universes!”

“I think you mean  _ hot _ , bro,”

“PAPYRUS!”

“Aw, don’t get all  _ fired up _ .”

“PAPYRUS, NO, THAT WAS AWFUL!”

“Nyeheheheh.”

XXX

Papyrus glanced toward Red. He had been hoping that lightening the mood with some puns would make the smaller skeleton less afraid of them. He could tell that Red, despite putting up a brave front, was still a bit shaky and uncertain. This was the first time he had spoken up since they left the house, and he had noticed that Red had been on alert ever since they left, repeatedly checking their surroundings and tensing up every time they came across someone. Well, he couldn’t blame him. You never know what might happen when you’re in another universe. 

As it was, Papyrus wasn’t sure if the puns helped or not. Red was currently staring at them like they were the most confusing thing he had ever seen. Maybe they were.

Or maybe Red wasn’t a fan of puns. 

“Anyway, why don’t we go to Muffet’s?” Papyrus suggested. “Since you’ve never had her food and all.”

“Hm, normally I wouldn’t want to encourage Pap’s sweet tooth, but it is a special occasion today,” Blue conceded. 

He and Blue stared at Red, waiting to see his answer. In the end, they received another shrug.

“Sure, I guess.”

Red’s shoulders were tense again. Hopefully a pastry or two would make him feel more at ease


	7. Of Pastries and Nightmares

Muffet’s was absolutely nothing like Grillby’s. To begin with, it wasn’t even a bar. It was a café. And like everything else in this universe, it seemed to be all bright and happy. As they entered, a bunch of people greeted Papyrus, and a few people greeted Blue as well. 

“Oh, hello Papyrus! Hello Sans!”

Red looked up to see a spider woman approaching them. Without even thinking, he prepared himself for if she decided to attack, taking a small step backward.

“And who’s this? One of those other-universe monsters?” Muffet asked.

“Hi Muffet! Yup, he’s me from another universe! He showed up this morning!” Blue answered. 

“Well, it’s a pleasure to meet you,” Muffet turned to him with a smile. 

She reached a hand toward his shoulder, but he stepped back again, just out of her reach. He saw her smile falter and realized that her actions apparently hadn’t been ill-intentioned. 

“Uh, yeah, it’s… nice to meet you too?” he spoke in an attempt to make the situation less awkward.

Red stood there while Papyrus chatted with Muffet. He wasn’t sure what to make of the monster. She wasn’t very much like Grillby, it seemed, but if she followed the pattern of this world, she probably wouldn’t be very much like the Muffet from his world, either. He wouldn’t really know, though. 

Eventually, Papyrus was done talking and they went to sit at one of the tables. Papyrus had apparently ordered for them while Red was spacing out again, so before long, Muffet returned with a plate of eclairs. 

Red hadn’t ever seen an eclair, let alone eaten one. Most people he knew, including himself, weren’t very fond of desserts, and besides, the resources used to make them were better used for actual food. Sure, they could still increase HP, but sweet ingredients were hard to come by. The eclairs were vaguely hot-cat-shaped, though they were smaller and obviously made out of some kind of baked dough. There was a dark-colored glaze and some colorful little candy-like things sprinkled on top. Looking back at the two other skeletons, he saw that Papyrus had started eating and Blue was looking at him expectantly again. For a fraction of a second, the question of poison popped back up, but he shoved it back into the corner of his mind. 

Red bit into the eclair and immediately made a surprised sound. The inside was hollow and filled with a creamy substance that was exploding with sugar. Despite not disliking the taste, he quickly swallowed the bite to keep himself from choking on any more surprises.

“Never had an eclair before?” Papyrus questioned.

“What’s inside of this thing?” Red asked instead of answering the question.

“Pastry cream.”

“Pastry cream?”

What in the fresh  _ Hell _ was pastry cream? 

The strange Papyrus chuckled. 

“Yup, I guess ya haven’t had it before, but it’s good, right?” 

Red stared at him.

“Uh… yeah,” he responded before grumbling quietly. “Scared the livin’ shit outta me…”

Apparently, both skeletons heard him, because Papyrus laughed yet again while Blue huffily puffed his cheeks in mild annoyance. Red returned to eating the eclair, and now that he knew what to expect, he found that he actually kind of enjoyed it.

XXX

By the end of the day, Papyrus and Sans had shown Red around a large chunk of the Underground, though most of that chunk was around Snowdin. They decided to hold off on going to meet Alphys for the time being and went back home to eat more tacos and go to bed. Red, though Blue had offered him his own bed, opted to sleep on the couch. Blue probably would have insisted Red sleep in his bed if Red hadn’t shifted back into a fearful manner at the time. Well, at least it was a comfy couch. 

Blue tended to go to bed pretty early, but by the time Papyrus was done reading him his bedtime story, Red had passed out on the couch already. Shrugging, the taller skeleton pulled the blanket over Red’s smaller form and went up to his own room to sleep. 

When he was suddenly jolted awake, Papyrus knew that it wasn’t even close to morning. At first, he wasn’t sure what woke him up, but then he heard a scream sound out from downstairs. Startled and having no idea what was going on, Papyrus shot out of bed so fast that even Blue would have been surprised. Then, he teleported downstairs, appearing in the middle of the living room. 

Red was apparently having a nightmare. 

He was thrashing around and whimpering, letting out a harsh shout every so often. That, however, was far less concerning than the myriad of red bone attacks moving erratically around the room. Papyrus had to dodge a row of bones coming at him, and one managed to graze his leg, though not enough to bleed.

[-1 HP]

Papyrus was thankful that Red’s attacks, though plentiful and uncontrolled, were weak. He did, however, silently pray that Sans would stay asleep, or at least stay in his bedroom, since, like Red, Blue only had 1 HP. 

Papyrus carefully approached the figure sleeping fitfully on the couch, continuing to dodge whatever attacks he could, and once he was close enough, he took a gentle hold of Red’s shoulder and began to shake him awake. Almost as soon as he touched him, Red’s eyes shot wide open with a Red glow and Papyrus found himself face-to-face with a Gaster blaster. 

“Ah, shit!” Papyrus cursed, ducking beneath the beam that shot from its mouth.

When the attack ended, Papyrus looked back to Red. The smaller skeleton was staring at him with wide eye sockets, the eye lights shrunken into pinpricks with terror.

“I-I-I-I’m s-sorry, Boss!” Red stuttered out, curling himself into a defensive position. “I-I-It-It was an a-a-accident-t! I-!”

Papyrus opened his mouth to assure the skeleton that he was, first of all, not ‘his’ Papyrus, and secondly, that he was fine, but Red’s breathing had started picking up, and Papyrus realized he was starting to have another panic attack. 

“Hey, it’s alright, buddy,” he tried to speak soothingly. “You’re safe, okay? Whatever happened in your nightmare was just a nightmare. It’s okay. Try to breathe with me, okay buddy?”

He saw Red’s eye lights focus on him, so he figured that Red heard him. Papyrus began to breathe in and out deeply, trying to get Red to follow along and hopefully avoid another full-blown panic attack. Luckily, Red had managed to get a hold on his breathing before it could progress too far, and the panic attack didn’t last as long as the one he had when he first arrived.

“See? You’re not in any danger.”

Just as Red began to calm down, the door to Blue’s bedroom squeaked open.

“Paps? Is everything okay? I heard a lot of commotion down there,” Blue spoke, being much more quiet than usual.

“Yeah, bro, Red just had a nightmare,” Papyrus replied. 

Hearing this, Blue made his own way down the stairs, coming to stand in front of Red.

“Are you okay, Red?” he asked, concerned. 

Red’s eyes shifted from Papyrus over to Blue. He was still trembling, but otherwise appeared to be okay.

“Y-Yeah, I-I-I’m j-just f-fine…”

Blue settled down on the couch next to Red.

“Do you want to talk about it?” he asked. “Sometimes that helps me feel better when I’m having a nightmare.”

“Uh, n-no…,” replied Red, looking down into his lap.

“Oh, well, that’s okay, then!” Blue said with a reassuring smile. “ You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to. But I’ll be here if you change your mind!”

Red didn’t respond, and Papyrus joined the two of them on the couch. They sat there silently for a while, with Red picking at his own fingertips. Eventually, Blue got up, announcing that he was going to make some hot chocolate, seeing as he could only remain quiet and still for so long. A few minutes after Blue trotted into the kitchen, Papyrus decided to speak up. 

“Why do you call your brother ‘Boss’?” 

Red jumped before the picking increased in speed.

“‘Cuz he told me to,” he answered with a shrug. “A-And, well, he’s the Head of the Royal Guard, s-so he  _ is  _ my boss…”

Just then, Blue returned to the room with a tray of mugs. Of course, since the kitchen was right there, he had heard the short bit of conversation. 

“Wait, your Papyrus is the Head of the Royal Guard?!” Sans exclaimed. “But what about Alphys- or, I guess it would be Undyne?”

Papyrus saw Red tense up even further somehow. The bone picking became aggressive enough that Papyrus was worried that Red was going to chip his own bones, so he carefully placed a comforting hand over Red’s fidgeting ones. Red seemed to be taken aback, but he didn’t growl or anything, so Papyrus kept his hand there. 

It was silent again for a while, and they eventually concluded that Red wasn’t going to answer. As Blue set the tray of mugs down on the coffee table, however, they heard Red’s voice, so quiet is was practically a whisper.

“Undyne is dead.”

Red was directing a dark stare down into his lap, resolutely avoiding all eye contact with the other two skeletons. 

Papyrus hadn’t been expecting that. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this chapter’s a bit lighter? Still has a good dollop of angst, though. 
> 
> ... I’m pretty sure all of the chapters have a good dollop of angst...


	8. Conversations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!  
> Sorry I didn’t update for a while even though this story is technically finished.   
> I had a big paper, and my tolerance for proofreading was all used up on that.

Red was surprised to find himself answering the question about Undyne. He hadn’t heard or spoken her name in a long time, not since she was killed in the battle against Boss. 

He could still remember that day so clearly, since Papyrus had dragged him along and forced him to watch from the sidelines. As kids, Papyrus and Undyne had been friends. But as they grew older, and they both began to succumb to the darkness of the world around them, they started constantly fighting over who was stronger and who would become the next Head of the Royal Guard. When Undyne eventually got the position, Papyrus was enraged, and they had a huge falling-out. 

And then the day came when Papyrus decided to challenge Undyne to an official duel. Defeating the current Head of the Royal Guard was, after all, the only way that the position could be succeeded. But such duels had no [MERCY]. 

It was a battle to the death. 

Sans watched his older brother fight the monster who had once been his best friend, and he couldn’t keep himself from crying. Either way, he would lose his brother: by watching him turn to dust or losing the last scrap of hope he had that Papyrus might one day go back to the way he was when they were younger. 

He didn’t want Undyne to die. She had been kind, once, before she was old enough to be tainted by the world around them, before she learned that, if she didn’t kill, she would be killed. She used to laugh and play, and even though Sans was too weak to really join them, Undyne would occasionally try to include him in something. She talked to him. She was nice to him. Things didn’t  _ have _ to end up like this. 

Yet, he didn’t want his brother to die, either. 

The fight was brutal, and Sans truly had no idea who would be alive by the end. The two of them were more-or-less evenly-matched. 

And then Undyne stumbled. It was just a stupid, tiny pebble that was just round enough to shift under the fish monster’s feet, and that nanosecond of being thrown off balance left enough of an opening for Papyrus. 

Sans heard the surrounding crowd roar in awe as Undyne’s dust settled onto the ground. A few particularly brave monsters approached Papyrus and began to congratulate him for becoming the new Head of the Guard. They congratulated his brother for killing someone, for killing his  _ ex-best-friend _ . 

Sans felt sick. He ran back home so he wouldn’t have to look at Papyrus, even though he knew that Papyrus would return home eventually. 

And when he did, he smacked Sans for crying.

“Here, why don’t you have some hot chocolate?”

Yet again, Sans found himself jolted out of his own thoughts. Blue was, once more, standing in front of him, this time holding out a mug filled with a brown, steaming liquid. Mindlessly, he accepted the cup but made no move to actually drink it. 

XXX

In the morning, Papyrus found himself thinking about their accidental house guest once again. He was starting to get a bad feeling about the universe Red came from. They’d never been in contact with a universe in which anyone who was alive here was dead. And now, Papyrus was certain that, when Red woke up and mistook him for his own brother again, that he had been afraid of  _ him _ specifically. Why was Red afraid of his brother? And he had a sneaking suspicion that his brother being the Head of the Royal Guard might somehow be connected to Undyne’s death.

He also had a sneaking suspicion that Red’s obvious anxiety and mood swings weren’t exactly new. 

And so it was that Papyrus was sitting on his front stoop, smoking a cigarette and trying to think of a way to talk to Red about his suspicions without triggering another panic attack. Sure, they had technically just met, but Papyrus couldn’t help but care for him, since seeing him hurt or afraid was like seeing his own brother hurt or afraid. He couldn’t even  _ imagine _ Sans being afraid of him or looking at him the way Red had. 

As his cigarette ran low, he stubbed it out in the snow next to him before standing up and re-entering the house. Red had long-since gone back to sleep on the couch, this time with less nightmares, and Blue was in the kitchen making breakfast. It was getting late, but today was their  _ actual _ day off from sentry duty, so they didn’t have to go to work until the next day. Granted, Sans would probably patrol a bit anyway, even though some of the dogs did have their shifts today, but Papyrus was perfectly content staying home the entire day. Besides, Sans’s unnecessary extra patrolling would probably give him a good opportunity to talk to Red later.

Red woke up right about when breakfast was ready, so they didn’t have to try to wake him up without spooking him. Even still, he saw the smaller skeleton immediately tense as he spotted him for a second.

“Bo-” Red started before cutting himself off, shaking his head. “No, you’re the other Papyrus.”

“Yep,” he confirmed. “Anyway, time for breakfast. You should probably get up before my bro drags ya into the kitchen.”

Red slid off the couch and followed behind Papyrus into the kitchen, where Blue was putting the finishing touches on yet another abomination that could only somewhat be labeled a taco. Sure enough, after another meal filled predominantly with Blue’s constant chatter, the skeleton ran off to go on patrol, leaving Papyrus alone with Red. 

“So, wanna watch tv?” Papyrus asked.

Red shrugged but still followed him back over to the couch. He clicked the television onto one of Napstaton’s shows, seeing as that was the only thing on all the channels. They watched for a while, though Papyrus wasn't really paying attention to it, and he didn’t think Red was, either. After a while, Papyrus shifted his gaze to Red and began studying him. Since Blue had left, he had tensed back up, and he appeared to be staring off into space. His back was straight and he was picking at his fingers again, though not nearly as frantically as before. 

“Hey, Red.”

As the smaller skeleton turned toward him, he saw something glint in the light, and he then realized that Red was wearing a spiked collar with a dog tag on it. Now, he didn’t want to make too many assumptions, but the collar only further increased Papyrus’s resolution to have a serious discussion with Red.

XXX

Red could tell from the start that this strange Papyrus hadn’t actually wanted to watch television at all. Even with the world all swapped around and different, he knew Papyrus, and he remembered times from before Boss had gotten so bad when he would want to have a serious discussion with him. Back then, Boss never just directly said they were going to talk. He would always take him on a walk or say they were going to build snowmen or, well, ask him to watch tv. Now, he didn’t really have actual discussions with Sans at all, but still, this Papyrus was employing the same strategy as his own past Papyrus. He knew the voice Papyrus used- the ‘talking’ voice. So, he wasn’t really surprised when Papyrus eventually said his name, or, his nickname. That didn’t mean he wanted to have this discussion, though. Whatever it was.

“Thought we could have a little chat,” Papyrus continued.

Papyrus waited for a moment, perhaps giving Red an opportunity to respond, but he stayed silent. 

“So, ya know how you’re not the first alternate universe skeleton we’ve met?” Papyrus questioned. “Well, all the universes we’ve contacted, they’re all pretty different, ya know?”

Red didn’t entirely know where Papyrus was going with this. Was he mad that Red hadn’t shared very much about what his own universe was like?

“There were a few universes that… well, that weren’t like this one. Yeah, the underground is overcrowded, but it’s not that bad here,” Papyrus kept talking, dancing around what he wanted to say. “But…”

Papyrus paused again, but Red still didn’t say anything. The taller skeleton sighed.

“Frankly, some of the universes weren’t so nice,” Papyrus said finally. “Just… Red… I was wondering if, maybe, your universe is one of the not-so-nice ones.”

As Papyrus finished speaking, Red felt his pulse speed up. After only being here a day, this strange Papyrus had already started to figure out one of the things he had been hiding. But he wasn’t sure  _ why _ exactly Papyrus wanted to talk about this. Was he angry that he came to mess up his happy little universe? Or that Red hid information from him? Was he really just curious? Did he think Red might be a threat? He couldn’t figure out what this Papyrus’s angle was, so he decided to ask. After all, he had answered his questions before, and if he was already angry, the question probably wouldn’t make him  _ that _ much angrier. And if it did, well… nothing new, there.

“Why does it matter?”

Papyrus’s face was still mostly blank, and what little hints of emotion he could pick up were ambiguous enough to still not provide any answers. 

“‘Cuz ya showed up with one foot in the grave,” Papyrus answered. “And I’m pretty damn sure ya were attacked.”

“ _ So? _ ”

Red felt a spark of anger. Was this Papyrus about to insinuate that he was weak? That he couldn’t defend himself?

Papyrus stared at him, this time with an emotion clear on his face. It felt strange seeing such an expression on his older brother’s face after so long, but he still knew what it was. Concern.

“So, you’re pretty much like my bro, in a weird, multiverse way,” Papyrus responded. “And I don’t think it’s the best idea for me to fix the machine just to send ya back and get ya killed. And I… It’s concerning that you’re afraid of me, since I’m supposed to be your bro.”

“... _ What _ .”

Papyrus shrugged.

“I get that ya probably want to go home, bud, but I’m not sending ya off to die,” Papyrus reiterated. “So I want to know what kind of universe ya live in and if you’re in danger there.”

Red felt cold ice shoot through his body before it was replaced with fire. This was familiar, too. Papyrus was trying to control him. He was trying to control him under the guise of protection because he thought Sans couldn’t take care of himself. But despite whatever twisted logic Boss tried to apply to it, control was control, and he wasn’t going to be controlled by  _ two _ Papyruses.

“You don’t know  _ shit _ ,” he growled out, not caring if this Papyrus decided to take another page out of his brother’s book and hit him for it. 

“That’s why I’m asking,” came the reply, cool as ever.

What gave this strange Papyrus any right to decide what he did? To decide if he was  _ allowed _ to go home or not? Sure, he didn’t plan to be alive much longer, and it didn’t entirely matter which universe his dust was scattered around in. And maybe he was angry that this Papyrus was suggesting he wasn’t going to let him die, even if he didn’t understand that it would likely be at Red’s own hand, if not Boss’s. But still, he hadn’t even known this Papyrus for longer than a day, and he was already trying to dig his claws into Sans’s cracked soul. 

And really, what did this happy-go-lucky skeleton from this happy-go-lucky universe know, anyway? Red had managed to survive this long in his own universe, despite everything, and he was only going to die now because  _ he _ decided to do it himself. 

“Shut.  _ Up! _ ” Red spat. 

“Red-”

“No! Shut up!” he exclaimed, standing up from the couch and facing Papyrus. “I’m tired of people tryin’ to control me!”

“Red.”

Red glared at him, meeting his concerned eyes with his own angry, glowing ones. Even with the expression, Red couldn’t separate the skeleton in front of him from his own Papyrus.

“You know what?!” Red shouted. “In my universe, it’s Kill or Be Killed, and I’m a 1 HP monster who refuses to kill anyone!”

“Red.”

“I’ve had to fear for my life every single  _ fuckin’ _ day, but I’d rather be dead than keep dealin’ with my damn brother’s ideas of protection!” Red raged, feeling the words bubble out of his mouth like pond scum. “I don’t need  _ his _ protection, and I damn well don’t need  _ yours _ !”

“Sans!” Papyrus called out, reaching out a hand.

Red flinched back, and Papyrus’s face fell even farther. The taller skeleton sighed sadly.

“I’m… just trying to keep ya safe, bud,” he said.

Red couldn’t stop himself from responding.

“That’s what Boss says too!” he yelled. “But he-!”

Papyrus took him by the hands, and he realized that he had been picking at his fingers again. 

“Sans, I don’t know exactly what’s going on with your bro, but I’m not trying to control ya,” spoke Papyrus. “I just don’t wanna send ya back into a bad situation.”

Red felt a few tears start streaming down his cheeks, dripping onto the rug below. 

XXX

Papyrus felt a knot forming in his non-existent stomach as Red spoke. ‘Kill or Be Killed’... Is that why Undyne was dead? Had she been killed?  _ Murdered? _

And Red’s brother… Red was afraid of him. He practically admitted that his brother tried to control him, and… ‘Kill or Be Killed’... 

Had Red’s brother tried to kill him? Was  _ he _ the reason Red showed up hurt like that?

He felt sick.

Red had started picking at his hands again, and even though he worried that touching him would scare Red, Papyrus didn’t want him to accidentally hurt himself. So, he reached out and stilled the smaller skeleton’s hands. He didn’t flinch away, but he did start crying, and at first, Papyrus wasn’t sure what to say. But, he figured that he had already started the conversation, so he might as well keep going instead of upsetting Red again later. 

“Sans, did… did your brother… hurt you…?” he questioned softly, unable to meet the smaller skeleton’s eyes.

He felt Red tense up under his hands, and when he looked back at him, he saw that fear had made its way back onto Red’s face. Red took a step back, but he didn’t pull out of Papyrus’s hands. 

“Sans, I meant it when I said we weren’t gonna hurt ya. Not my bro, and not me. You’re safe here,” Papyrus told him. “But I get the sense that… ya might not be safe at home.”

Red’s hands were shaking.

“...I’m  _ not _ weak,” he gritted out. “And I  _ don’t _ need to be protected.”

“I didn’t say ya were. I saw how many attacks ya can summon, remember?” Papyrus responded. “And everyone needs protection sometimes.”

He saw Red’s expression shift into some combination of surprise and confusion, the tears still dripping steadily down the bones of his face. 

“Sans, I’m really not trying to control ya. I really don’t know what your universe is like or what’s happened to ya,” Papyrus continued. “But if your bro’s been hurting ya or even just trying to control ya… do ya even want to go back?”

Red seemed to consider his answer for a long time before opening his mouth to speak.

“... I… No…,” Red eventually sighed. “But I can’t just stay here.”

“Why not?”

Red’s face took a definite turn closer to shock.

“ _ What. _ ”

“Why not just stay here?” Papyrus asked with a shrug. “I’m sure my bro won’t mind if ya stay with us.”

“I can’t!” Red sputtered. “I don’t belong in this universe! And we don’t even actually know each other, and I don’t know anyone here! And it’s not like I can just disappear!”

Papyrus thought for a moment.

“I’m still gonna fix the machine eventually, so ya could go back to visit anyone you’ll miss, ya know,” Papyrus told him. “It’ll be kinda like moving out of the house. Just. A lot farther than usual.”

Red went silent. Papyrus could see him struggling over what to say, and he could feel Red’s hands twitching within his own. At the same time, he heard the lock on the door starting to unlock. Blue was home.

“Look, why don’t ya think about it for a while? I get that moving to another universe is a pretty big decision,” said Papyrus. “The machine’s probably gonna take me a while to fix anyway, so ya have a good amount of time to think. Okay?”

Red didn’t answer, but Papyrus knew he heard him. Then, Blue flung the front door open and Papyrus dropped Red’s hands. He was glad to see that Red didn’t start picking at his fingers again.

“I HAVE RETURNED FROM MY PATROL!” Blue exclaimed as he charged into the room. “Wait, is Red okay?”

Papyrus turned his head to see that his brother’s face looked worried. Red wiped his tears away with his hoodie sleeve.

“I’m fine.”

Papyrus knew he was going to have to talk to his brother later, but for now, he knew Red needed a break from their conversation. 

As Blue updated them on what happened during his patrol, Papyrus thought about the revelations the conversation had brought to the surface.


	9. Thought Processes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, here’s the next chapter!  
> I’m just gonna take a moment to remind y’all to read the tags for trigger warnings, just in case y’all forgot during the long periods between posts.

It had been almost a week since Sans’s most recent attempt at running away, and this was the longest his brother had gone without coming back home. He had asked around a bit, thinking that, with a place as small as the underground,  _ someone _ must have seen his lazy brother, but no one apparently had, or at least, no one admitted to having seen him. Papyrus was becoming a bit worried, and it annoyed the Hell out of him. What right did his stupid brother have to act like a damn child and distract him like this? He’d even forced Papyrus to look for his sorry ass. He was the Head of the Royal Guard! He couldn’t show any sign of weakness!

Sans was going to regret coming home when he did.

Papyrus, for the time being, refused to consider the rather obvious possibility that Sans was already dead. He convinced himself that, had his brother been killed, he certainly would have heard about it. The killer would be gloating, or witnesses would have gossiped about it. He didn’t let himself think about the possibility that it had been a sneak attack, perhaps while Sans was asleep, or that most monsters would be wary of inciting the Head of the Royal Guards’s wrath and perhaps not want him to know who killed his brother.

The thought that Sans might have finally made his first and last kill was locked away even deeper in his mind.

XXX

It had been a little over a week since Red had ended up in this universe and, therefore, a week since his failed suicide attempt. He was surprised that he hadn’t tried again yet. He still planned to go through with it, but part of him was hopeful that things might actually be better if he chose to accept this Papyrus’s offer. After all, hadn’t he tried to kill himself to escape Boss? The skeletons, plus the other monsters, in this universe were actually nice to him, and they didn’t beat him or insult him or anything like that. Sure, it could still turn out that this was all a huge game before he was killed, but even if it was, he wouldn’t feel the betrayal very long before he died anyway. Maybe he could be happy in this place.

And yet, his feelings on the matter of his life hadn’t really changed very much. Yes, he knew this could be his chance at happiness, but it still didn’t entirely feel like happiness was actually a real possibility, and he almost felt like he didn’t want to accept it if it was. If he had hope, it would be harder to die. Because he really did still want to die. He was tired of the nightmares and memories of his own world and of what Boss had done to him. He was tired of feeling anxious and scared and sad. If he didn’t have to face those things anymore, shouldn’t those feelings have gone away? Shouldn’t he be happy? But those feelings were just as strong as ever, and Red found himself itching for his knife. He cursed himself for leaving it behind, even though he knew he hadn’t expected to need it again.

He found himself picking at his fingers a lot. It was a bad habit he’d had as a child, before he stole the knife and started chipping at his bones. It did such a small amount of damage that one couldn’t even tell if they [CHECK]ed him. That was good because it prevented him from accidentally dusting himself before he decided it was the right time to, but it also didn’t really cause a lot of pain, so it didn’t actually help much of anything.

He knew there were knives in the kitchen. Red would have swiped one by now, but the two brothers rarely let him out of their sight long enough for him to actually do anything. If neither of them were home, they would usually drag him along to work, claiming that they didn’t want him to feel lonely. Papyrus, however, had told him when they were alone that they were actually worried about what would happen if he took a nap and there wasn’t anyone to wake him up from the nightmares he often had. Red had wanted to get angry and insist that he didn’t need them to wake him up, but since he had been told that Blue had the same stats as him, he forced himself to accept that it was reasonable to be cautious with a guy who summons attacks in his sleep. 

Even still, they couldn’t babysit him forever, and after a night without any nightmares, which left him more well-rested than he had been in a while, the two other skeletons decided to leave him alone at the house while they went to work. 

As soon as he was sure they were gone, Red went into the kitchen and opened up a drawer. It didn’t take him long to find the knives, seeing as they were in the same spot as in his own universe. There were seven assorted knives, all but two from different knife sets and in different states of wear. He selected the oldest looking knife. The blade had a few dinks in it that probably made it hard to cut with, but he really only needed the tip of the blade to chip his bones. 

Just in case one of the brothers decided to come back home unexpectedly, Red locked himself in the bathroom. Then, he took out the first-aid kit from where he knew it was under the sink. He rolled up his sleeve and started going through the process of cleaning his bones and the knife before bringing the blade to his arm. With a deep breath in, he jabbed the point in and broke off a tiny piece of bone.

[-0.01 HP]

Relief flooded through him as his HP dropped slightly and the stinging began to shoot up his arm. 

[-0.01 HP]

[-0.01 HP]

[-0.01 HP]

[-0.01 HP]

[-0.01 HP]

[-0.01 HP]

He took a deep breath in again. Some of the anxiety was gone now.

[-0.01 HP]

[-0.01 HP]

“HEY, RED!”

[-0.2 HP] 

“GAH!” Red gasped in surprise as he accidentally dug the knife in a lot deeper than he had intended to. 

“Whoops, sorry! I didn’t mean to startle you!” he heard Blue say through the bathroom door. “I forgot my scarf and I came back to get it!”

Red didn’t want to respond, not knowing if his voice would betray him or not. 

“I’ll leave you to shower, then! See you later!” 

Red heard Blue’s footsteps walking away, and he realized that he had been so absorbed in what he was doing that he hadn’t noticed their approach, or the likely slam of the front door as Blue entered the house. With a shaky sigh, Red looked down at his forearm. He had accidentally taken a pretty big chip out of it, and it was bleeding a lot more than they usually did. Not wanting to get blood on the floor, he took out a sterile pad from the kit and held it against the wound. 

Luckily, it stopped bleeding so heavily before too long, and despite doing more damage than he had meant to, it wasn’t really enough to kill him. 

Red thought that he should, perhaps, actually take a shower. He hadn’t done so since coming to this universe, which wasn’t a huge problem since he was a skeleton, but he was beginning to collect dirt on his bones, and he wanted to wash off the tiny bits of dust on his arm. So, careful not to get any blood on his clothes, Red took them off and turned the shower on. He left the first-aid kit where it was, intending to bandage his new wounds after he was done. There wasn’t much of a point to bandaging them just to ruin them, after all. 

As he stood under the spray, he heard the front door close. Blue had stayed around longer than he’d thought, but he shrugged it off. 

There’s no way Blue could know anything.

XXX

He couldn’t believe he’d somehow left his scarf at home. He literally always wore it, sometimes even in the shower! And it wasn’t like him to be so forgetful. Blue didn’t want to admit, even to himself, that he had sort-of left it on purpose to give him an excuse to check on Red. He couldn’t help being worried about the alternate version of himself, even though Paps had insisted that they give Red a little bit of time to be alone. After all, who wouldn’t be worried about someone who had so recently been about to dust right in front of them? And it wasn’t like he was blind. He could see that something was wrong with the other skeleton beyond the slash that almost killed him.

When Blue had returned home, he was surprised to find both the living room and kitchen empty. He doubted that Red was snooping in their bedrooms. He thought Red might have decided to check out the machine in the lab, but before going out to see, he went to check the bathroom first. Sure enough, the door was closed.

What was Red doing in the bathroom? He hadn’t wanted to shower since coming here. Had he not wanted to take a shower while they were around?

“HEY, RED!” he called out, trying to confirm that Red was there.

“GAH!”

Blue mentally scolded himself for spooking Red again. Most of the monsters he knew were used to his volume by now, and it was hard to remember how jumpy Red was sometimes. 

“Whoops, sorry! I didn’t mean to startle you!” Blue told him. “I forgot my scarf and I came back to get it!”

Blue waited for a response, but none came.

“I’ll leave you to shower, then! See you later!” 

Blue scurried away to get his scarf. Once he did so, he was going to leave, but he had a bad feeling. Red hadn’t actually responded to him, and he had cried out when Blue startled him. What if he had made Red slip and he hurt himself? What if he banged his head on something? What if his HP was low enough to possibly kill him? 

Blue felt an anxious worry build in his chest, but he wasn’t really sure what to do. If something bad happened, he would have to find Papyrus to get him to teleport into the bathroom. Yet, if nothing was wrong and Red just hadn’t felt like answering him, he certainly wouldn’t appreciate Blue bothering him again or getting his brother to barge in on him. So, he just stood there for a few minutes, considering his options. 

Just as he was about to try knocking on the door, he heard the shower turn on. He sighed in relief. Red was fine. He probably just didn’t want to shower with Blue or Paps around for some reason. Maybe he was actually a bit shy?

With that, Blue left the house to return to his post.

XXX

If he were being honest, Papyrus was dragging his feet with fixing the machine. Usually, he was already pretty lazy, but had circumstances been a little different, he would have sucked it up and fixed it as quickly as he could so the poor monster it grabbed could go home. But in light of what Red had told him, along with what he had hinted at, Papyrus was reluctant to get the job done. He wanted to give Red time to think over his offer, and he wanted him to accept it. He was pretty much certain at this point that Red’s brother had been hurting him, and he really couldn’t just stand back and let Red go back to that. And even if he was wrong and Red’s ‘Boss’ was just overly-controlling, Red had said himself that he didn’t really want to return to his own universe. Based on what little Papyrus knew, he couldn’t exactly blame him. 

Point was, he was stalling. He had actually even been doing his job so he could avoid working on the machine. 

In the meantime, Papyrus was trying to show Red that he was safe in this universe. He and Blue had been taking Red to work with them, both to keep him from being lonely and to awaken Red from his frequent nightmares during his frequent naps. At first, he thought that might show Red that they cared about him and wanted him to be around, but after a few days of that, Papyrus could see that the constant attention was starting to wear on Red’s nerves. He was being jumpier and snippier and kept trying to slip away from them. Eventually, Papyrus talked to Blue, and they decided to leave him alone for the day. Papyrus got the sense that Red was more of a loner, and to be fair, he usually didn’t like excessive social interaction himself. 

But still, even though Papyrus wanted Red to stay with them, he wasn’t sure that the smaller skeleton would. He knew that people often stayed in bad situations, even when there was a way out, for all sorts of reasons. Papyrus didn’t entirely know what Red’s reasons were for wanting to go back, but he figured that the reasons at least included the fact that literally the entire world was different than what Red had known. Plus, just because Red’s world was apparently violent and his brother was likely abusive didn’t mean that there wasn’t  _ anyone _ Red cared about there, or that _ everything _ in his world was bad. That was why Papyrus had pointed out that visiting his own universe was still possible. Though, he was slightly concerned about the possibility that Red’s brother might be one of the people Red cared about there, which could very well put the skeleton in danger if he went to visit him. 

But, Red didn’t like feeling like he was being controlled. Papyrus had to give him a choice, or he would never actually  _ want _ to stay with them. To that end, he had actually not yet discussed Red staying with them with Blue. He knew that Blue would, on top of being okay with it, likely try his hardest to convince Red that he should stay, which would, again, just push him away.

It was a tough situation that he didn’t really have much control over, and Papyrus, more than anything, wanted to keep things from getting any worse.

XXX

Sans still hadn’t returned, even though almost two weeks had passed by now. Other monsters were noticing the skeleton’s absence, and he had even started hearing whispered rumors that he had dusted Sans himself. Of course, the notion was preposterous. After all he had done to keep the whelp from dusting, Papyrus wouldn’t just outright kill his brother. Even if he wanted to, sometimes. 

He himself was beginning to accept the likelihood of his brother’s death. As such, he had been on the look-out for that hoodie Sans always wore. Finding it, especially covered in dust, would at least confirm Sans’s fate. And perhaps it would be appropriate to hold a funeral. It would just be himself, of course, but there would be closure.

Papyrus wasn’t entirely sure how to feel about the situation besides anger. Sure, everything would be easier without having to watch out for the smaller skeleton, and he wouldn’t have to deal with Sans’s disrespect anymore. But still, Sans was his younger brother, and he cared about him in a disturbed, twisted bastardization of a familial bond. And if Sans was just going to die, what had all of this been  _ for _ ? 

All he knew he felt was a deep, unsolvable rage. How dare Sans get himself killed, or worse, do the deed himself? How dare he throw away all of Papyrus’s effort? How  _ dare _ he put him through this? What right did Sans have to just up and  _ die _ ? 

What else was he supposed to feel?

Perhaps he should feel sad, and perhaps that was the heavy feeling weighing down the soul in his chest. But he could never admit to such a feeling, especially for someone so weak. 

Some might say he should feel guilty for how miserable his treatment of his brother had made him. Being the Great and Terrible Papyrus, however, he had long since convinced himself that his actions were justified. 

Should he feel hope? Hope that his brother was still alive? Hope that he would return? Only a naive fool still had hope in this world, and Papyrus was no fool. 

Sans couldn’t survive without him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some people have been asking about whether Fell Paps would return to the story, and, well, here he is.


	10. Smoldering

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here’s the next chapter!  
> Have a Happy Halloween!

Blue was cooking again, though this time, Papyrus had managed to convince him to try to make something other than tacos, hoping that his brother’s cooking skills might be better in a different area. Unfortunately, Blue decided to attempt burritos, which weren’t really very different at all.

Oh well, it was worth a shot. 

Papyrus was in the kitchen with him so they could talk while Red was sitting outside, having wanted to spend more time alone. 

“So, Alphys has been asking when we’re going to bring Red to meet her. I tried telling her that sparring with him might not be the best idea, but she keeps insisting,” spoke Blue. “I don’t know if I should suggest it to Red or not. I feel like we might finally be convincing him that no one’s going to hurt him here, and I don’t want to ruin that by, well, someone sort-of trying to hurt him. I mean, Alphys doesn’t  _ really _ want to hurt him, but you get what I mean.”

“Yeah, probably not a good idea for Alphys to attack him. Don’t think that would go over very well,” Papyrus replied to Blue’s rambling. “But if she wants to meet him that badly, ya could just, like, invite her over, ya know?”

“Oh, that’s a great idea!” Blue exclaimed. “I could ask her to do our cooking lessons here! Maybe Red will want to join in too!”

“Maybe.”

Despite what he said, however, Papyrus was pretty certain that Red wouldn’t be so keen on joining the lesson. He himself wasn’t so keen on the idea of Alphys holding cooking lessons in their kitchen, considering the destruction she usually caused her own kitchen. 

“It’ll be  _ so _ much fun! We can show Red how to make tacos!”

Blue opened up the drawer where they kept the knives, went to grab a knife, and paused.

“Hm. One of the knives is missing,” he mused. “I wonder where it could have ended up.”

One of the knives was missing? A thought suddenly popped into his head, and he had a feeling that he might know exactly where it had gone.

“Hold on, bro, I might know where it is.”

Papyrus told him before teleporting away.

XXX

Red was sitting alone outside, watching the snow fall gently around him. It was hard to believe that he had been in an entirely different universe for two weeks now. It was hard to believe that he had almost died two weeks ago.

As he sat there in the cold, he wondered how Boss was reacting to this whole thing. As far as he knew, Red had, at the least, run away, or at worst, died. Was Boss angry with him? Sad he was gone? Did his brother miss him at all? If he were to return then and there, would Papyrus be glad he was back, or would he beat the crap out of him? 

Did he miss Papyrus? After all the other skeleton had done to him, did he really miss his messed up brother and his messed up world? It wasn’t as though he didn’t prefer the lack of abuse, but he had never been away from his older brother for so long. And maybe it was just the fact that he was currently removed from the situation, but part of him wondered if there might still be hope that Papyrus would go back to the way he used to be one day. Some stupid part of him that should have died long ago hoped that maybe, just maybe, Sans disappearing would snap Papyrus out of his violent mindset. Maybe he would realize what he had done and how he could have lost Sans forever. Maybe he would be so relieved that he had come back alive that he would stop hurting him, possibly even be nice to him for once. He’d had a dream- an actual dream rather than a nightmare- like that a few nights ago. And when he woke up, still in this other universe and unsure of what would truly happen if he went home, he’d cried and stolen the knife again to chip at his bones. 

He still had the knife, hidden in the deep pocket of his hoodie. Red knew he should have returned it, especially by now, as he had done after the first time he took it. With the way Blue was and how much time the other skeleton spent cooking, he was sure to notice its absence eventually.

And yet, he hadn’t returned the knife to the drawer. 

Beyond Papyrus, Red sort-of missed his own universe as well, despite how absolutely terrible it was. He knew what to expect there, and even if the expected was a pile of shit, it was familiar and he knew how to interact with that world. 

This world, for all its sugar and rainbows and whatever, was hard. He never knew what these monsters were going to do or how they wanted him to respond. Red found himself constantly misinterpreting body language, misinterpreting words. It put him on edge in a whole new way, and he didn’t like it. And, well, maybe that shouldn’t be such a heavy weight pushing against escaping his abusive brother and terrible world, but it  _ was _ . 

Red wasn’t sure how long he had been sitting outside, but eventually, this universe’s Papyrus teleported next to him and took a seat.

“Hiya.”

Red turned his head a bit to see him better, since Papyrus had appeared on the side where his skull was cracked and it was a bit harder to see from that eye.

“Hey,” he returned the greeting. 

“I see you’ve been  _ chilling _ out here,” Papyrus joked. 

Red shrugged. 

“I guess.”

Papyrus lit up a cigarette he pulled from his pocket, taking a lazy drag from it before continuing the conversation.

“Apparently Alphys has been wanting to meet ya,” he says.

“Hm,” Red hums vaguely.

“She’ll probably come over soon,” continued the taller skeleton. “Either that or we’ll end up bringing ya to meet her.”

He took another drag from the cigarette, blowing the thick smoke into the cold air around them. 

“Why exactly does she want to meet me?” Red questioned, his tone guarded.

“She has a secret ranking list of how strong all the different Sanses from the universes we contact are.”

Red stared at him, trying to determine if he was kidding or not. Papyrus shrugged.

“Not my idea of fun, but whatever,” he said. “Just figured I’d warn ya since she’s probably gonna want to fight ya. She doesn’t want to hurt ya, though. She’s just determined and, well,  _ really _ into axes.”

“Wow, you make her sound like a fuckin’ angel,” Red replied sarcastically.

He wasn’t sure if he wanted to meet this world’s Alphys or not, but she did seem to be a more familiar type of person, at least. She was someone who wanted to fight and made her intentions clear. He’d take that over hidden agendas and fake attitudes any day.

Again, Papyrus breathed in a drag of smoke and puffed it out. 

“I mean it though when I say she doesn’t want to hurt ya,” continued Papyrus. “Even when she [FIGHT]s an actual enemy, she gives them an axe to defend themselves with.”

“That’s pretty dumb,” Red scoffed.

In his universe, such a [MERCY] would make you a laughingstock.

“I don’t think it’s dumb as much as not wanting to dust people,” Papyrus disagreed. “And ya can relate to that, right? Ya said ya refuse to kill anyone, even though you’re apparently expected to.”

Red tensed, his hands gripping the cloth of his shorts. What was he supposed to say to  _ that _ ?

“Aw, don’t look at me like that. Not wanting to go around murdering people’s a good thing.”

He rolled his eyelights.

“Not where I’m from, remember?”

Papyrus blew out some more smoke.

“Well, it’s a good thing here, at least,” Papyrus half-conceded. “People usually aren’t too keen on killing their neighbors. And even when there’s a few bad eggs, they get captured and held so they can’t keep hurting people.”

Red knew that Papyrus was going somewhere with this.

“Ya don’t really need much else except some magic to keep yourself safe, and even that’s not really necessary most of the time,” he kept going, giving Red a pointed look. “Ya don’t need weapons like knives or anything, at least.”

Ah. There it was. This Papyrus knew he took the knife from the kitchen. He might have made the same misunderstanding that he assumed his own Papyrus made, but he still knew. He just wasn’t directly calling Red out on it.

“Anyway, point is that everyday life here usually isn’t dangerous, and when it is, ya can just use some magic,” Papyrus told him. “And I know ya can summon a  _ skele-ton _ of bone attacks, so ya don’t need to worry so much, ‘kay?”

And with that, Papyrus gave him a firm pat on the back and teleported away. 

Red found himself blinking outwards at the snowy ground. Well, this Papyrus didn’t seem to be upset with him for stealing the knife. It actually seemed like he was trying to reassure him. 

Red sighed.

He’d return the knife later, once the two brothers were asleep. He could just take it again when he needed it, after all.

XXX

It turned out that Alphys absolutely hated going to Snowdin. Apparently, the cold weather had a bad effect on the cold-blooded monster. So, Blue had decided that they would go to meet Alphys at her house. Red, honestly, was kind of annoyed about being forced into a plan without his own input and then being dragged into attending that plan, but Blue had looked so excited that he hadn’t been able to respond in any way other than a begrudging ‘fine.’

And so, the three of them teleported to Hotland, with Blue hitching a ride with his brother. The sudden shift from freezing cold to flaming hot was a shock, but it not like it wasn’t one he’d felt before. 

“HEY, SANS!” a rough voice called out.

Red turned around to see a short but muscular lizard approaching them. He was surprised to see that she looked like Undyne rather than the Alphys he knew, though perhaps he shouldn’t be. She had a large scar over one eye and wore a metallic suit of armor. When she laid eyes on him, her face shifted into a toothy smile that sent pangs of nostalgia through his soul. 

“Nice ta meet’cha, other Sans!” she greeted him as well.

“Uh, yeah.”

“HI, ALPHYS! This is Red!” Blue told her, though she already knew. 

As Blue began his chattering, Red mentally cursed the heat of Hotland. As a skeleton, he wouldn’t get heat stroke from it, but it was far from pleasant, and he couldn’t remove his hoodie. Both Blue and Papyrus had opted for lighter clothing than usual, with Blue in a T-shirt, Papyrus in a tank top, and both in shorts.

“ARE YOU READY FOR SOME TRAINING THAT’LL KICK BUTT?!?!!” Alphys bellowed.

“YES, MA’AM!” Blue responded eagerly.

“GREAT!” yelled Alphys. “YOU WANNA JOIN US, OTHER SANS?!”

“Nope.”

“SUIT YOURSELF!!”

As she said this, Alphys suplexed a boulder, and Red silently wondered how watching that would make him want to train with or fight her. Actually, he wondered why Papyrus would even let his brother train with someone like that, especially considering their shared stats. He couldn’t imagine having that much faith in someone like Alphys. 

For the time being, Red settled on the warm earth to watch the two rowdy monsters train, and Papyrus sat down next to him. It reminded Red of when they’d talked outside the other day. 

“Ya can remove your hoodie, ya know,” Papyrus suggested. “This’ll probably take a while.”

“I’m good.”

Papyrus shrugged. 

“Okay, then,” he said, continuing after a moment. “So, wanna tell me what Alphys is like in your world?”

Red raised a brow bone. Figuring he might as well pass the time with conversation, he decided to answer.

“Mad scientist.”

“Ah.”

In front of them, there seemed to have been a small explosion followed by a pair of voices laughing. 

“Did ya used to work with her?” Papyrus asked.

Red turned toward him.

“How’d you know that?”

“‘Cuz I used to work with Undyne,” the skeleton replied. “Ended up quitting when we moved to Snowdin. More nap time as a sentry, ya know?” 

Red stared at him like he had three heads.

“Why’d  _ you _ quit?” 

“Bitch tried to kill me,” Red growled.

“‘Geez,” Papyrus spoke, his voice suddenly sounding more serious. “Ya really weren’t kidding about the whole ‘Kill or Be Killed’ thing, were ya?”

“ _ Why _ would I be kidding about that?!” Red snarled. 

Papyrus put up his hands in a placating gesture.

“Whoops, sorry. I should have worded that better,” he told him. “It’s not like I don’t believe ya or something. It’s just… I feel like everything you’ve told us about your universe involves death.”

Red shrugged, glaring at the air in front of him. 

“Is that really all there is where you’re from?” 

“... _ Hah? _ ” 

“No, really, there’s gotta be more to your universe, right?” Papyrus clarified. “If there wasn’t, wouldn’t everyone be dead?”

Red found himself seriously considering the question. Was ‘Kill or Be Killed’ really all there was to his world?

“... It’s a big part of it,” he answered eventually, his voice low. “I mean, of course other shit happens, though. People have jobs and families and all that shit too. It’s just that you don’t really know when someone you care about will get killed or even when you’ll get killed. The murder rates are pretty high, and they just get higher the longer we’re trapped underground. And even when people aren’t killin’ each other, they’re fightin’ each other or just bein’ assholes. The weak die. And the stronger you are, the less you have to worry about someone dusting you.”

He was picking at his fingers again. He didn’t know why he was saying so much. Papyrus’s face was serious when he went to talk.

“... Have ya thought about my offer? About staying here, I mean?”

Red didn’t answer.

“Like, I don’t want to assume that a whole universe is all bad all the time, but ya haven’t said anything to suggest that there are good parts,” Papyrus continued. “But I get the sense that ya still want to go back.”

“... There are some good parts… Just… a lot of them get destroyed and even when they don’t…,” Red spoke wistfully before trailing off. 

“Is there a reason ya want to go back? One of the good parts?”

Red shrugged.

“Someone ya miss?” 

Red turned his glare toward the taller skeleton.

“Okay, I get it,” he told him. “I’ll drop it. For now, at least.”

They sat there silently for a while, Red smoldering in his hoodie and his own conflicted emotions.


	11. What it Had Been For

Getting Alphys to drop the idea of sparring with him had been an annoyingly repetitive series of events. Every so often, she would pause Blue’s training to ask him if he wanted to join in, and a few times, she just flat-out challenged him. He’d considered agreeing just to get her off his back, but he wasn’t really up for having a battle right now. Hell, he never really was. He just had to fight to survive sometimes. Plus, he was  _ bone-tired _ . Papyrus and Blue eventually had to tell her to knock it off, which resulted in a weird brand of pouting that reminded Sans of Undyne when she lost to Papyrus when they were kids. 

Thus, Red had begrudgingly agreed to show her some of his attacks. 

And the smiling, aggressive excitement Alphys displayed once he was done made his heart ache in two different ways. She was so much like the Undyne he once knew, and yet had the face of one of the many people who’d tried to kill him over the years. He couldn’t help but acknowledge that the ache was more from the nostalgia, through. If seeing this world’s  _ Alphys _ was having this effect on him, he wondered what it would be like to meet this world’s Undyne.

“THAT WAS SO FRICKIN’ COOL!” Alphys shouted. “YOUR BLASTER THINGS ARE SO SPIKY!”

Despite himself, Red let himself smile just the tiniest bit, though he covered it with his hand, attempting to disguise the motion as a cough. Papyrus gave him another one of those knowing looks before standing up, his stance casual.

“Welp, it’s getting pretty late, so we should probably get going,” he said.

“OH! I need to start on the dinner tacos!” Blue exclaimed.

Mentally, Red sighed. As much as he could tolerate terrible food, the absolutely ridiculous ways Blue managed to make tacos incorrectly were astounding. He half-thought that it was on purpose. How could anyone be so obsessed with a particular food and yet not seem to know its basic ingredients or how to prepare it? But no, there was no ways that someone like Blue would have subjected his brother to so many years of awful cooking just for the sake of being a jerk. 

And so, the three skeletons left, teleporting back to Snowdin. The cool air was an instant relief from the sweltering heat of Hotland. Toward the end of their visit, Red had started ignoring the discomfort of the high temperatures, but he was glad to be back in a hoodie-friendly climate. 

Well, all things considered, today hadn’t been a very bad day. Yes, he hated the heat, and Alphys had been annoying, as had been that half-conversation with Papyrus, but he felt better than he had for a while. Definitely the best he’d felt since coming to this universe, and probably better than he had felt for a long time before that. He still didn’t feel  _ good _ , but he hadn’t considered jumping into the lava, at least.

Now that they were home, Blue scurried off into the kitchen to begin dinner. With nothing better to do, Red and Papyrus followed him.

Sure enough, half of the things that Blueberry started putting on the counter had absolutely no business being on tacos. He’d even brought out the strawberry yogurt again.  _ Again _ . 

Red really didn’t care that much, he would probably eat just about any abomination that Blue set in front of him, but he knew everyone would prefer that the meal be slightly more edible.

“Um. Hey, Blue,” Red spoke to get the other skeleton’s attention. “I think your bro would be  _ berry _ happy if you left the yogurt out this time.”

Blue froze, and Red immediately cursed himself. He knew it was rude to insult someone’s cooking, but he hadn’t been trying to be rude. It was just a light suggestion.

“AAAAH, NO!” Blue shrieked, flailing his arms. “YOU  _ DO _ LIKE PUNS!!”

Wait, it was the pun?

Oh.

Oh, Boss hated puns.

And Blue hated puns.

He knew that.

Had he just messed up? Sure, Blue wasn’t really violent, and he never got seriously mad at Papyrus for the puns he made, but the way Blue was screaming suggested that he was  _ really _ angry.

Just as Red was about to start panicking and apologizing, Papyrus let out a loud guffaw that shocked him out of it.

“HAHAHA!” he laughed. “Sorry, bro, but you should have seen that coming. Red’s like me, remember?”

“Well, he hasn’t made any puns until now, so I thought maybe he didn’t like them!” Blue retorted, hands on his hips. “But now that his punning has awakened, I bet you two are going to start doing it all the time!”

Wait. Was this just Blue’s normal half-amused, non-serious anger?

“Aw, but my jokes are _punderful_. And I bet Red’s are too,” Papyrus replied. “And I know you think they’re _punny_!”

“PAPYRUS, NO, THOSE ARE AWFUL!”

Of course it was. This was Blue. At this point, he knew that Blue wasn’t going to punish him like Boss would. He took a deep breath in.

“ _ Punfortunately, _ ” Red began. “The floodgates have been  _ o-pun-ed _ .”

Blue gave him a long, blank look.

“AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!”

XXX

Sans had been gone for a month now. 

Sans had been gone for a month, and Papyrus was practically certain he was dead.

Papyrus was practically certain he was dead, and he was almost as certain that Red had done it himself.

No one had seen him, no one knew what had happened to him, and no one whispered any rumors about who might have killed him unless they were whispering Papyrus’s name as the culprit. And Papyrus still hadn’t been able to find that damned hoodie. It wasn’t in the house, so he knew Sans had been wearing it when he left. He knew that the waterfall in the trash dump was a popular suicide spot. And he suspected that Sans had stood there a few times before backing out and tracking dirty water through the house. This time, he thought, Sans must not have backed out.

The reality of the situation didn’t hit Papyrus until early in the morning, the day after he finally accepted that Sans was dead. He had gone to wake his brother up for work, as he had mistakenly done every day that month. And then he realized that he never had to do so again, never  _ could _ do so again. His younger brother was dead.  _ Gone _ . Nothing would ever wake him up, not even his early-morning screeching. 

The thought left him motionless for a long time as he tried to wrap his head around it. 

He really was going to have to hold his brother’s funeral.

And he didn’t even have his brother’s dust.

Truly,  _ what had everything he’d done to him been for? _


	12. Crashing Down

Red should have known that the brief feeling of being something-approaching-okay was exactly that- brief. The next day, he’d felt like utter shit again, and he hadn’t felt any better since. To make matters worse, he’d ended up having a fight with Papyrus yesterday, an actual fight, not just a few tense words. He’d asked Red about staying here again, and Red had accused him of not fixing the machine so he could force Red to agree. Then Papyrus more-or-less admitted that it was true, and Red had just gotten so angry. He’d started shouting about being controlled again, and apparently he’d started picking at his fingers for the millionth time. 

In the process, he’d actually managed to chip off enough bone to draw blood, but he hadn’t noticed as he was descending into a panic attack. When Papyrus reached out to stop him from doing any more damage, Red lashed out with a row of bone attacks that Papyrus was too close to him to dodge. 

Well, he hadn’t meant to attack Papyrus. He had just reached the point where he couldn’t differentiate him from Boss again. But once he had calmed down enough to realize that, Papyrus had started lecturing him about how the fact that he felt so unsafe around his own brother that such a thing happened was exactly why he shouldn’t go back. 

Their arguing only stopped when Blue stormed into the living room, actually, truly angry for once and yelled for the two of them to stop, saying that all they were doing was making each other upset. He’d sent Papyrus, whose expression had shifted to guilt at this point, to his room while he tried his best to get Red to calm down. 

It was very late when Red passed out from exhaustion.

XXX

Sitting alone in his bedroom, Papyrus silently cursed himself for letting his argument with Red escalate so far. He was usually pretty laid-back, but today, he felt like he couldn’t stop himself from getting angry. He was worried about Red, and as counterproductive as it was to fight with him, he didn’t know what else to do at this point. He’d already tried backing off, and it seemed like it wasn’t helping. Red wasn’t getting any better. The only times he seemed to actually get anywhere with the shorter skeleton was when he pushed a little. Today, he apparently pushed a little too much.

He knew he pushed too hard when Red lashed out at him. Of course, he’d known that Red hadn’t really meant to hurt him, and his bone attacks didn’t do much damage, but the fact that Red attacked him just made him more worried. Papyrus knew that Red was seeing his brother. 

He was still seeing his brother, still terrified of his brother, and yet… 

Red was sobbing downstairs, and it was an awful thing to hear. Red had cried before, he had panicked before, but not like this. This was bad. This kind of crying was choking gasps and sobs and pain. He knew he should have backed off sooner. He should have backed off when Red accidentally hurt himself, but he hadn’t wanted Red to keep hurting himself. 

Papyrus took in a deep breath and flopped onto his bed. He would apologize to Red tomorrow. Of course, he still didn’t want Red to leave, but if stalling was going to lead to things like this again, it would be best to avoid it. Best case scenario, Red would agree to stay by the time he fixed the machine. Worst case scenario, he went back to his brother, and… Well, hopefully that wouldn’t happen. Hopefully, even if Red went back to his brother, he would survive it and maybe change his mind or at least find a way to live apart from his alternate self.

This situation sucked.

XXX

Blue was sitting next to Red on the couch as he sobbed. He didn’t want to get too close and overstep Red’s boundaries, but surprisingly, Red had clung onto his shirt. In the month he had known Red, this was definitely the worst he’d seen him get. Sure, that wasn’t a very long time to get to know someone in the grand scheme of things, but he certainly hoped that Red didn’t cry like this often. Part of him wasn’t sure if he could really believe that, though.

He was a bit mad at his brother at the moment for making Red cry like this. Papyrus had promised to fix the machine, and even if he didn’t like what might happen if he did, it wasn’t fair to Red to pull him out of his own universe and then keep him against his will. 

Of course, he knew why Papyrus was stalling, and he couldn’t entirely blame him for it. They hadn’t had a formal discussion about it, but he knew Papyrus wanted Red to stay in this universe, and Blue agreed. He didn’t exactly know what happened to Red, seeing as Papyrus was usually the one to engage the other skeleton in the upsetting talks, but he wasn’t stupid and he was neither blind nor deaf. He could hear snippets of their conversations, after all, Red could get pretty loud, and he had seen Red panic and flinch away. He knew Red had been afraid of Papyrus when he first came here and that he still was sometimes. He could remember how paranoid Red had been, thinking that they were going to harm him. It all added up to a picture that, though incomplete, was rather upsetting. 

But even still, getting dragged to an alternate universe when you didn’t even know they really existed and then being, in your mind, threatened with not being allowed to go home even though it was possible? That was scary and mean, and they couldn’t do that to Red. If Red wanted to stay with them, that was great, but Red was an adult, and as much as they wanted to help him, if he didn’t want their help, they couldn’t force it upon him. 

Red cried for a long time before passing out. When he did, Blue was actually kind of glad for it. Red needed the rest after that whole ordeal. And maybe he’d feel a bit better in the morning. 

Red’s grip on Blue’s shirt had lessened slightly in sleep, so Blue carefully removed the skeleton’s sharp fingers from the fabric. He frowned as he saw the tiny amount of blood staining it. He was pretty sure he had heard something in the argument come up about Red’s nervous habit, so he wasn’t surprised. Sure enough, when he checked out Red’s fingers, one of them had a small wound on it. It wasn’t a very serious wound- it would be pretty difficult to chip bone with another bone, after all- but Blue wasn’t sure how much, if any, damage it had caused. 

He [CHECK]ed Red’s stats to be safe.

[HP: 0.95/1]

Okay, that wasn’t so bad. Of course, it was a low amount of HP, but it was, proportionally, not that much. He knew from experience that Red could survive a lot worse. It was a bit worrying that Red’s finger-picking had caused any noticeable damage at all, though. He decided that he should get the first aid kit.

Not wanting to wake Red up, Blue slowly laid Red back to rest on the couch before getting up as quietly as he could. Then, he snuck into the bathroom, grabbed the first-aid kit, and returned to Red’s side. He got out a little bandaid with butterflies on it and covered the chip on Red’s finger. There. That would keep the wound from getting worse until it healed up, which shouldn’t take too long. 

With that done, Blue reluctantly decided he should go to bed. It was very late, and though he wanted to sleep on the couch next to Red in case he needed him, he knew that was a bad idea. If Red started summoning attacks during a nightmare again, Blue couldn’t risk getting hit in his sleep. 

As much as he wanted to help, he had to retreat to his bedroom and just hope that Red wouldn’t have any nightmares, or if he did, that he wouldn’t start sleep-attacking. The last thing Red needed right now was to be woken up from a nightmare by the monster he’d just had such a horrible argument with.

Despite his own worries, Blue fell asleep seconds after his head hit the pillow. It was far past his bedtime, after all.

XXX

The next morning, Papyrus wanted to apologize, but Blue wasn’t sure that was a good idea yet. He wanted to see if Red was doing any better before potentially sparking more distress. Still, they didn’t want Red to wake up alone, or be alone generally, so Blue decided to take the day off work and stay home with his counterpart. 

Red was still sleeping on the couch, though he thankfully appeared to be relatively peaceful, so Blue busied himself for the moment with tidying up. 

XXX

When Red woke up, it took him all of two seconds to remember what happened and feel the panic begin to rise back up in his chest. He sat up on the couch, clenching the fabric of his hoodie sleeves as he looked around. 

The house was quiet. A quick check told Red that no one appeared to be home, though he didn’t really check as thoroughly as he usually would. 

He crept into the kitchen, went to the drawer, and took out the dented knife. His breath quickened as the tightness in his chest grew worse. 

Red teleported into the bathroom, not trusting his legs to walk there, and lowered himself onto the floor. 

Rolling up his sleeves, he went through the process of cleaning his arms and the blade, just like he always did.

He had already chipped his arms about ten times when the bathroom door creaked open.

He had forgotten to lock it.

“Red?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There’s only one chapter left after this, so the story’s almost over.
> 
> Sorry to leave it on a cliffhanger right before the end.


	13. Where to Go From Here

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here’s the last chapter!

By late morning, Blue had finished tidying up the house, and since Red was still asleep, he stepped outside for a moment to get the mail. When he came back in, he was surprised to see that Red was no longer on the couch.

“Red?” he called out. “Are you awake?”

Receiving no answer, Blue felt a ball of trepidation form in his heart.

“Red?” he repeated.

Again, nothing. With a sense of deja vu, Blue briefly searched the house before ending up back in front of the bathroom door. He knocked, but despite the continued silence, Blue knew that this was where Red was. And, though he wasn’t sure  _ what _ exactly, he knew  _ something _ was wrong. 

Blue reached out to the doorknob, and, turning it, he found it to be unlocked. 

“Red?” he spoke yet again as he pulled the door open.

The scene behind the door left him frozen in shock. 

Red was sitting on the floor, large tears rolling down his cheeks as his wide eyes stared back at Blue’s own, apparently not having expected him to be here. Worse than the crying, through, was what Blue saw on Red’s arms. 

They were covered in countless small nicks and chips, some appearing very old while others were actively bleeding. Blue registered the knife in Red’s hand a second later, and he recognized it as one from their kitchen drawer. Then, in the next second, Blue realized that Red bleeding, even from small wounds, could be a particularly bad situation, so he [CHECK]ed the other skeleton’s health. 

[HP: 0.84/1]

Luckily, Red wasn’t in immediate danger of dusting, but Blue still knelt down next to him and used some healing magic he’d learned.

[HP: 1/1]

It wasn’t until that was done that Blue’s thoughts caught up with him and the pieces of what he was seeing fit together. Red was hurting himself. He was chipping his arms with the knife, and it was likely far from the first time he had done so. 

“... Red, I…,” Blue stumbled. “Are you…”

He wanted to say something, to ask if Red was okay, but he knew he wasn’t and found himself speechless. Instead, he reached out for the knife, hoping Red wouldn’t try to do anything. Thankfully, Red allowed him to take the knife, and Blue put it out of reach. Though, it might have been less that Red let him take it and more that Red looked like he was frozen in fear.

Blue didn’t know what he was supposed to do now. He couldn’t think of anything to say that would comfort Red or make the situation any better. He didn’t think that pulling Red into a hug he didn’t initiate would be a good idea at the moment, even if Red had clung to him last night. Should he try to clean the blood off of Red’s arms? Should he call someone, or take Red to a doctor? 

He didn’t know what to do.

And before he could figure it out, Red teleported away.

XXX

Red had absolutely no idea what he was supposed to do in this kind of situation. Back in his own universe, anyone who found him doing this would have likely dusted him. Hell, even Boss probably would have, and he was his brother. Blue wouldn’t, he knew that, but he didn’t know what Blue  _ would _ do. 

As soon as that door opened, Red knew he had messed up. He was stupid to think that the brothers would have just left him alone after last night, and he was even stupider for forgetting to lock the door. 

And now what? He doubted Blue would just let it go. No, he would tell Papyrus, and he would probably try to ‘help’ him. But he didn’t want that. They would probably keep a closer eye on him now, and Papyrus would probably use this as another reason to keep him here. If he tried to kill himself, they would probably stop him. It would even harder than before to do it once he got his nerves back up to try again.

He felt trapped. 

He felt scared. 

He felt vulnerable.

And he ran.

XXX

Blue’s mind became filled with panic as soon as Red disappeared. He forgot that Red could do that, and now Red could be anywhere in the entire underground. And who knew what he would try to do. As such, Blue didn’t have any time to waste freaking out. So, with his hands trembling, Blue took out his cellphone.

“PAPY!” he cried into the phone as soon as his brother picked up. “RED, HE- HE WAS ASLEEP AND I WENT TO GET THE MAIL AND WHEN I CAME BACK HE WASN’T ON THE COUCH ANYMORE AND I FOUND HIM IN THE BATHROOM AND HE- HE WAS HURTING HIMSELF AND I TOOK AWAY THE KNIFE AND HEALED HIM BUT HE TELEPORTED AWAY AND I DON’T KNOW WHERE HE IS!”

The other end of the line was silent for a moment as Papyrus tried to decipher what his brother had just said. 

_ “Sans, calm down a bit,” _ he said eventually. _ “I couldn’t understand what ya just said.” _

“RED WAS CHIPPING HIS BONES WITH A KNIFE AND HE TELEPORTED AWAY AND I DON’T KNOW WHERE HE WENT!” Blue re-explained.

_ “... Oh shit.” _

“PAPY, WHAT DO WE DO? WHAT IF HE-” Blue cut himself off.

_ “Aw, fuck, uh, call Alphys and Undyne,” _ Papyrus instructed.  _ “See if Undyne can find Red on the cameras and ask Alphys if she can help us look for him. You start looking in Snowdin, and I’ll go to Waterfall.” _

Blue could hear Papyrus take a deep breath in over the phone.

_ “We’ll find him, okay?” _

“...Okay…”

And with that, Papyrus hung up so they could start the search.

XXX

“Ah, fucking shit,” Papyrus cursed as he hung up the phone. 

This was bad. This was  _ really _ bad. He couldn’t believe how stupid he had been. He knew Red had taken the knife, but he completely misunderstood the reason. He knew that Red had problems! He should have at least considered this possibility! And what if Red  _ was _ suicidal? Was he going to try to kill himself?

With that thought in mind, Papyrus teleported to Waterfall. The first place he checked was the waterfall in the dump, knowing that a few monsters had jumped to their death there over the years. He didn’t find him there, and he hoped that it was because Red hadn’t been there and not because he  _ had _ , and they were already too late. 

The next tense half an hour was spent searching and asking anybody they came across if they had seen Red. So far, no one Papyrus asked had seen any skeletons that resembled his brother. 

And then, Papyrus’s phone rang again. He jumped from the sudden sound and fumbled to answer it.

“Hello?” he questioned urgently.

_ “Uh, h-hi Papyrus. It’s U-Undyne,” _ she told him.  _ “I, uh, I think I found your fr-friend on the cameras?” _

“Where is he?” Papyrus asked quickly.

_ “Um, h-he’s… uh, he’s in a tree? Like, on a branch. I-in Snowdin.” _

“Got it. Which tree?”

_ “N-Near the door to the Ruins,” _ the fish-monster answered.  _ “Uh, you should be able to see him from i-in front of the door…” _

Papyrus let out a breath.

“Okay. Thanks Undyne,” Papyrus said before hanging up.

Then, he teleported to in front of the Ruins.

Once he was there, it took him a minute, but he eventually saw what looked like a person sitting in the branches of one of the trees. He couldn’t see his features from here, but aside from Blue, there wasn’t really another monster who looked like Red in the Underground. Well, unless another universe’s Sans happened to show up, but he would bet against that.

Sure enough, when Papyrus teleported to the branch himself, he found Red curled up against the trunk and hiding his face in his arms. Or, he was for a second before jolting up in surprise and almost falling off the branch. Papyrus quickly grabbed onto him to keep him from falling off, but as soon as Red found his balance, he shrugged out of his grip and glared up at him.

“FUCK OFF!”

Papyrus put his hands up in a placating gesture.

“I just want to help, Red.”

“I don’t want your fuckin’  _ help _ !”

“Hm, yeah, I gathered that,” Papyrus spoke, not allowing himself to get angry like last night again. “But what is it that you  _ do _ want? To go home?”

“I  _ want _ to be left the hell alone!”

Red’s hands were clenched into tight fists.

“I… don’t think that’s a great idea right now, buddy.”

“Like it even fucking  _ matters _ !”

“Well, I think it does,” Papyrus insisted. “And ya know, you might not  _ want _ help, but that doesn’t mean you don’t  _ need _ it.”

“And  _ what _ exactly is your damn help supposed to do?!” Red growled. “The whole reason I’m like this is because my brother fuckin’ beats the shit out of me! And when I tried to finally end it, I ended up  _ here _ instead! And I’m  _ still _ not happy!”

Papyrus was shocked by Red’s admission, but he didn’t interrupt like he usually would. 

“I  _ just _ wanted to be done with it! But the only thing I could do to escape was to  _ fuckin’ die _ !” Red yelled. “And I  _ should _ be happy here because I did get away, and I didn’t even have to die to do it! But I’m not happy, and I  _ still _ want to die! Even though it doesn’t even make any goddamn sense because I’ve spent my whole damn life trying to fuckin’ avoid it!”

“Red… I’m not exactly a doctor, but I’m pretty sure you have depression, at the least…,” Papyrus cut in. “And you can’t exactly control that, and you can’t just turn it off when you think you should be able to.”

Red let out another exasperated growl. Papyrus rubbed the back of his neck.

“Look, I get that this is a touchy topic, but what’s up with being so determined to go home if you were willing to die to escape it?” Papyrus questioned. “I’m really sorry about stalling with the machine, but I still don’t get why you want to go back.”

“I  _ don’t _ !” Red exclaimed, throwing his hands in the air. “Or, maybe I do, I don’t fuckin’ know! But I don’t like being told that I  _ can’t _ !”

Red began to scratch at the trunk of the tree, which, though not ideal, was at least better than him starting to pick at his fingers again. Papyrus sighed.

“Sans… I really don’t want to control you. I keep insisting that you stay because I don’t want you to go back to getting hurt like that…,” spoke Papyrus. “If you  _ really _ want to go back, I won’t stop you, but…”

Papyrus fell silent, and the two of them didn’t speak for a while. Just in case, he kept an eye on the smaller skeleton so that, if he tried to teleport again, he would be able to hold onto Red and teleport with him. 

It was a long time before Red finally spoke up again.

“I… Even after all this damn shit and everything he did…,” Red started. “I actually kinda miss him…”

Red covered his face with his hands.

“I know that, even if I go back, he’ll probably just beat me up again. Hell, he might even just dust me!” Red continued. “But I keep thinking that he might stop… That, maybe, he’d be glad I’m not dead or something! Even though I know that’s a load of bullshit!”

Papyrus waited for him to keep going.

“Ugh, and I’m even started to feel bad for fuckin’ disappearing! I mean, I wasn’t planning on returning anyway, but… Ugh!”

“... You know, you shouldn’t feel guilty for leaving someone who abuses you,” Papyrus told him. “You don’t owe him anything.”

“Ha, even though he’s my brother?”

“Yes, Sans, even though he’s your brother,” Papyrus agreed. “Of course, family is important, but being biologically related isn’t enough to be family. And if he’s hurting you, then he has only himself to blame if he loses you. Actions, regardless of reason, have consequences, and sometimes the consequences are losing someone.”

“But he raised me. Don’t I owe him something for that?” 

“Nope. Not if he mistreats you.”

Red ran a hand across his face in frustration.

“Ha. It’s hard to believe you’re supposed to be him.”

“Yeah, well, different universe, ya know.”

“... But what if he really  _ does _ miss me? What if he’s sorry?”

“Well… when I fix the machine, you can go see? If he’s sorry and changes how he treats you, it might help you feel better. And if he’s the same or tries to hurt you again, you’re always welcome here. Hell, even if he is sorry, you can still stay here and just visit him if ya want.”

“... But what if he’s sorry and I don’t want to forgive him?”

“Then don’t forgive him. You don’t owe people forgiveness, even if they’ve changed.”

“...”

“... Do you  _ want _ to forgive him?”

“... I don’t know. Not really. I don’t even know if I  _ can _ ,” Sans answered. “But I feel like I should. If he changes, I mean.”

“Well, you’re allowed to feel however you feel,” spoke Papyrus. “Whether you forgive him or not, or whether you can or not, or even if your feelings change.”

“... I still  _ feel _ like I want to die.”

Papyrus almost flinched.

“... I know. You’re not gonna get better over the course of a conversation. But you don’t have to feel that way forever, and you probably won’t,” he replied. “You might not be able to get better on your own, but you  _ can _ get better. It might take a while, but you can.”

“... What if hurting myself is what makes me feel better?” 

Red looked determinedly away as he said this.

“Sans, you know that that’s not a healthy coping mechanism,” Papyrus said pointedly. “And it’s dangerous for any monster, let alone one with low HP. Which isn’t to mock you or call you weak. Your HP is what it is, and it’s just easier for you to lose all of it than it is for other monsters.”

“... I know how to control how much damage I do…”

“Even so,” Papyrus continued “It’s still dangerous, and accidents can happen… And does it actually make you happy? ‘Cuz you aren’t happy,  _ are you _ ?”

Sans growled but didn’t deny what Papyrus said. Papyrus held out a hand, letting Red take it on his own.

“Look, you don’t need to figure everything out today or even soon,” he told Sans. “But for right now, let’s just try to keep you  _ safe _ okay?”

Sans slowly reached out to accept Papyrus’s hand.

“... Well, what now then?”

“Well, my bro’s pretty worried about ya, and Alphys and Undyne will want to know we found ya and you’re okay. Relatively, at least,” he replied. “So, for now, why don’t we go home and figure out where to go from there?”

Sans stared out at the forest, mulling it over.

“...Okay.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that’s the end of this fic (unless I decide to do some kind of sequel, but I start way too many things, so I’m not too keen on doing that). 
> 
> I kind of wanted Blueberry and Undyne to have a bigger part in this fic, and I think I got more of Blue in there toward the end, but I just couldn’t think of anything to do with Undyne that would take up more than her role here. If I do end up doing a sequel, though, I would definitely include her in it more. I tried to explore Red’s relationship with his own Undyne more through US!Alphys since it’s Underswap, but it would be interesting to explore it with US!Undyne too.
> 
> Anyway, I decided to write this fic (which I actually did over the summer) because a lot of stuff like this I see with UF!Sans having a happy ending includes some kind of making-up with his brother and I wanted to write a story where that doesn’t really happen. ‘Cuz, I don’t know, I think that if you’re gonna go with the idea of UF!Papyrus abusing the Hell out of Red, it’s gonna take a lot for him to be forgiven. 
> 
> Idk. I tried my best, and I hope ya’ll enjoyed reading.
> 
> Bye!


End file.
